I <3 Miami

Maybe I’m romanticizing it since I was only there for a couple days, but I really fell in love with Miami. I don’t know if it’s the kind of place I could live in year round. I’m an East Coast girl at heart. I need my change of seasons, my autumn leaves. I need the smell of fresh cut grass in the summer time… but going tropical felt good at least for a little while.

I loved the art deco architecture, the rustle of palm trees, the turquoise blue of the ocean, hearing Spanish everywhere we went, the adorable casitas, the couples dancing to the salsa version of Coldplay’s song, “Clocks“, the taxi drivers hanging out their windows and calling out piropos to pretty girls, mojitos, learning how to run in tacones, guava cupcakes, and most of all, the diverse group of amazing women who I now call mis amigas.

Going to Miami was life changing in ways I never expected, and probably in ways I have yet to see.

Those who were there with me may know that I argued on and off with my husband via text message almost the entire two days. This made me feel vergüenza, because I know what it looks like from the outside looking in. Most people like to keep up the appearance that their marriage is perfect, but sometimes there is no hiding the truth.

I felt lucky that despite my shyness, I bonded so quickly to all of the girls and that I was able to open up to them. Many of them gave me good advice, some simply a listening ear and a knowing smile. Marriage isn’t easy and mine is no exception. In fact, bi-cultural marriages tend to be even more difficult.

In the end, my husband and I came to a major turning point as individuals and as a couple. My husband was forced to realize that his celos is a result of his own insecurity and I was able to fly free long enough to realize that living like a pajarito in a cage of gold, is not how I want to live. Changing won’t be easy, but we had a very difficult heart-to-heart and our marriage has weathered another storm.


Lights go out and I can’t be saved
Tides that I tried to swim against
You’ve put me down upon my knees
Oh I beg, I beg and plead, singing…

Confusion never stops,
Closing walls and ticking clocks,
Gonna come back and take you home,
I could not stop, that you now know, singing,
Come out upon my seas,
Curse missed opportunities…

And nothing else compares
Oh no nothing else compares
And nothing else compares

You are, Home, home,
Where I wanted to go…

-Coldplay/Clocks

Disclosure: General Mills paid for my trip to Miami for their Qué Rica Vida media event. I received no compensation, monetary or otherwise, for writing about the event. All opinions expressed are my own.

Posted on May 24, 2010, in amor, Corazón, el macho, food/drink, marriage, música, travel, wisdom, women. Bookmark the permalink. 28 Comments.

  1. I love Florida! Miami looks beautiful. I have a feeling I would love it too. I’m glad you had such a wonderful time!

  2. That trip sounds like it was a very healthy experience all-round. Sometimes you just need to go somewhere out of the ordinary to get a good perspective on your reality, don’t you think?
    I hope you and the husband find this as a new platform for respect and understanding.

  3. So glad things turned out in what appears to be for the best after your trip. I went to Miami this Jan for the first time, and loved it too!! I explain it that it’s as if you are leaving the country, without really having to! I can hardly wait for a return visit too.

    • Señora López

      @ Amanda – Right! It was like leaving the country without leaving it. LOL. That is what I really loved.

      @ thoughtsofamommy – <3 u 2 :)

  4. 1) I’ll have to figure out how/why/when/with what money and go there ASAP, it looks beautiful!
    2) About 6 years ago, I had a huge (similar) turning point when I spent the weekend in a mansion (or as it was called “The Estate”of acquaintances, who were my same age. It just really opened up the possibilities of how my life COULD go, if kept at the level it had been progressing, or, how it WOULD go, if we really worked at it. I don’t want to be rich, (but I wouldn’t complain, lol), and that wasn’t the big revelation. It was more like “My life is not what I want it to be. It is a lot harder than it has to be. I can and WILL make this one life of mine what I, I, I, want it to be.” That INCLUDES my husband, and being a good mother, not excludes them, as he was taking some of these mental changes. Me going back to school was a HUGE one, working towards a personal dream, teaching my kids respect and class and dignity and exposing them to new (he hates change) and diverse and exotic and fun and, and, and….I could go on all day. I LIKE to travel. I LIKE to eat at sit-down restaurants. I LIKE to (occasionally) go somewhere and park Valet. I like to (again, occasionally) get a sitter and go out with other adults. I also like street vendors and yard sales and Walmart. I’m not a snob, but it is “ok” to do the other stuff to. He (mine) doesn’t like it because he hasn’t experienced it. He had never had to unwrap a birthday gift, while people were staring at him expectantly, so he didn’t want gifts. He hadn’t been to Disneyland, so he said it was “too expensive” (which it is) instead of saying, I don’t know, I’m nervous about that. I’ve adapted a lot. But he needs to too. This weekend we had a big fight. We are better now, but it was ugly there for awhile. So yeah, I get ya, another storm weathered. Anyway friend, I totally get it. Good luck!

  5. Gorgeous pictures Tracy! It was so nice to meet you in Miami.

    • Señora López

      @ Yoly – Thanks! You too!

      @ Humincat – Glad you made it over another marital bump. They’re not fun, that’s for sure. (And you know my E-mail, chica.) I’m proud of you for working towards your goals!

  6. I loved Miami too! I only went once before for work. But what I absolutely fell in love with was a bilingual urban radio station. They were playing reggeaton and then Fergie! Even the radio emcees were going back and forth between both languages. I miss living in a big city. But the traffic in Miami is absolutely horrible. And the humidity…ay Dios mio!

  7. I’m so glad that you enjoyed Miami and met some new peeps!

    I’m sorry to hear you and your husband got into it but growth is sometimes painful. The important thing is you spread your wings and you still get to come home to your nest.

    I <3 Coldplay…

    • Señora López

      @ HeartinHand – Right :)

      @ Jai – I was afraid I wouldn’t use my laptop as well – but I just couldn’t resist. LOL. I didn’t get a chance to check out the radio stations. Ah, bilingual radio – just the thought of it is awesome!

  8. I admire your honesty. There is no point in putting up a front of perfection because it simply does not exist.

    It’s hard to make changes for the better, but it’s harder to live denying that changes need to be made.

    Best wishes.

  9. You were one of the blogueras I was soooo looking forward to meet and I´m so happy we connected. You are such a beautiful person and deserve every single good thing that is happening, and will continue to happen, to you.
    I´m glad to have you as an amiga and can only wish we meet again SOON!
    I promise not to shove the video cam in your face the second I see you! I´ll try, at least!
    BTW, only a phone call away! ;)

    • Señora López

      @ Ana – You were one of the people I most wanted to meet too, and I wasn’t disappointed :) I feel so blessed to call you my friend. {{Abrazos!}}

  10. I am glad this was such a good experience for you not only personal, but for your marriage.

    And I am so happy I got to meet you and can’t wait to get together again.

    • Señora López

      @ Lisa – I loved meeting you, too. You have such a great personality and I’m glad you don’t live too far!

  11. Hi Tracy!!

    Wished I could have spoken with you more while at Miami. I feel you girl. My Mexicano is a very jealous man and that has made our marriage very difficult to live with. Can you believe he GAVE ME PERMISSION to go on the trip. *rolls eyes* I love him dearly but at times I just want to be freed.

    This trip was just what I needed too. I hope things work out with your hubby. Marriage is definitely difficult!

    ((hugs))

    • Señora López

      @ Catalina – I wish we could have spoken more, too but we weren’t there for very long! We can always Twitter and E-mail though :)

      As for your husband giving you “permission”, I had to ask permission, too. (Beg it, really. LOL.) … To be fair, he asks me before he does anything major as well.

      I hope this trip gave you some alitas to test your freedom. If we communicate with our husbands and teach them they have no reason to be distrustful, build up their self esteem so they aren’t insecure, I think they are capable of change. Buena suerte!

  12. Hey Sweet Pal so happy to see you having a great time…you deserved it !!! I’ve been to Florida but not the beach so this is great to see all the lovely shots there. Have fun :”D

  13. I am glad you had such good time. You are right regarding bicultural marriages, my problem is that my hubby does not have interest at all in learning more about my culture or learn my language, sometimes I wonder why he married me or better yet why I married him (no, it was not for the green card). This really saddens me!

    • Señora López

      @ Micky – That’s a tough one. Have you ever expressed your feelings to him before? Maybe if you invited him to take part in something having to do with Mexican culture, (an exhibit at a museum?), perhaps something would spark his interest?

      When our passions are not the same, it can make things difficult but not impossible. Sometimes we have to accept that we’re different. For example, I love books. I adore reading. Last year I read 100 books. My husband has read less than 5 books in over a decade of marriage… I never would have thought I could marry someone who hates reading, and it does make me sad that I can’t share that hobby with him – but that’s how he is. I’ve sought out books that might catch his attention and got him to read a little but he’ll never be a reader like me.

      I think that you can love someone without having much in common at all, but you could still talk to him about how you feel. {Abrazos}

  14. Marriage is work. And work well worth it, for it provides opportunities for growth for all.

    So lovely to meet my talented, lovely Latina-ish friend!
    Y un dia, que rico conocer al hombre tambien!

    abrazos de Tennessee.

    • Señora López

      @ Carrie – I agree that marriage is worth the work. Getting our families together some day would be so fun.

  15. I’m so happy to have met you too Sra. Lopez!! Hopefully we can meet again soon and have even more fun. I love your pictures, I like how I can see you now through your pictures. They are soft and well organized,jajaja! I gues I look at pictures so much that I start analyzing them!
    I think marriage would not be without arguments, it’s just part of the black/white that we all need.
    Abrazos amiga!!

  16. Tracy!!! I absolutely loved finally meeting you! I’m so happy you were able to come! I’m so impressed by your Spanish and how you truly “get” what it means to be a Latina… that’s so awesome.

    I look forward to us meeting again soon and I wish you the best of luck with your marriage.

    Un beso fuerte,
    Rox

    BTW, I love ur pictures!!

  17. What a great post. It tells so much. So real. So you.

    I enjoyed every second of the trip, specially hanging out with you.

    Marriage is definitely something I work at everyday, it’s hard, but worth it.

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