I try not to blog too much about la Suegra, porque bien sabes, the internet is a very small world. If my Suegra can run into random people in the United States that she used to know back in El Salvador, (which happens!), then a family member can easily find my blog and report back to Suegra like the little chismosos that they are. (Which is funny since they all talk behind her back and then pretend to be santos to her face.)
Well, sabes qué? Go ahead and tell then. Ya no me importa. I remember all the things you said about her, too – recuerdalo before you go tattling on me.
The truth is Suegra doesn’t like me, and so I don’t understand why I have to pretend to like her? I’m tired of the whole “respect your elders” thing. N’hombre. My respeto is EARNED with proper behavior, not given just because you’ve had more birthdays than me.
So go ahead, tell Suegra. Tell her I don’t like her either. She already knows it. Tell her I don’t respect her because she doesn’t act right. And while you’re at it, tell her that saying a little “gracias” once in awhile wouldn’t kill her. How many evenings have I made dinner for this family? My husband and children thank me for the meal every single night. Suegra? She wipes her mouth and leaves the table without a word. In my mind I’m screaming, “De nada!” but she’s completely oblivious to anyone’s feelings but her own.
All she talks about is her suffering, and granted, she has had a difficult life – but what about my suffering? I didn’t sign up for this. How did a “visit” turn into living with us on and off for a decade? Gone are my carefree years as a young wife and mother – almost every single one of those years was spent with her in the house causing drama.
Yes, tell Suegra – tell her everything. And tell her that when a man and woman’s bedroom door is closed and they are both on the other side with Reggaeton music on, you don’t stand at that door and call your son’s name repeatedly until he answers you. HE’S BUSY!
And it isn’t just privacy with my husband that I want. Rarely have I enjoyed time with my kids without her tagging along. If we so much as go for an ice cream without inviting her, all hell breaks loose. She cries and complains that we mistreat her, that she hates it here, that she wants to leave – but she never goes, at least not for very long.
Tell Suegra that I tried. For a good decade I TRIED, but sabes qué? I’m tired now.
Tell Suegra that I’m taking the kids for an ice cream today… and tell her she’s not invited.