Te Encontraré – PART III
~Fools Rush In~
Summer gave way to Autumn. Carlos and I spent almost every day together at the expense of everything else. If I worked, he showed up on my lunch break to eat with me and exchange love letters. If he worked, I waited at his brother’s apartment for him, watching television with his visiting mother, who seemed to go back and forth between admiring me and disliking me.
I brought Carlos to a pumpkin patch for the first time, showed him how to carve a jack-o-lantern, taught him how to drive my car in an empty parking lot. He took me to a Spanish language Catholic mass, movies, introduced me to family friends, gave me my first sip of horchata. We watched telenovelas together, babysat his niece together, took his mother to the airport together. One day we ordered a large pizza, ate the entire thing by ourselves, and then just laid on the carpet feeling sick together.
It felt as if we lived a lifetime in only a couple months. We laughed, we cried, we shared secrets, we had fights and made up, and though I liked him, I became uncomfortable with how quickly things had happened between us. I felt like I was being swept away, like I had lost control.
Though he hadn’t done anything wrong, completely out of the blue one night, I gave him the “maybe we should just be friends” speech. Carlos begged me to reconsider, cried and literally held onto me, wouldn’t let me go.
Looking back, I think that both of us were lost in a way, and we found comfort in clinging to each other. He was far from his homeland, feeling every day that he was in a place he didn’t belong. I simply had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I was the one certain thing he could count on each day, and I couldn’t take that from him.
Though my heart felt conflicted, I decided to give things another chance. Remembering that day now, I shudder to think how thoughtlessly I almost threw it all away.
Wise men say,
only fools rush in,
but I cant help,
falling in love with you.
Go Read: PART IV