About Me
I am an Anglo-American, (aka as Caucasian, gringa or white as Wonder bread), but my name is Señora López. No! De verdad! For real, it really is. Here’s my story, for those who are now todos confundidos, or just curiosos. (Or maybe you’re a metiche. That’s okay, too.)
I was born and raised outside of Washington DC. My childhood was fairly typical, if not ideal. Maybe that was the problem.
Have you ever put on a sweater and known it’s just not “you”? Maybe there’s nothing wrong with the sweater, in fact, it could be bien chula, but for whatever reason, it just doesn’t feel right.
Okay, that’s how I feel about being Anglo. It isn’t some kind of “White guilt“, because I’ve felt this way since Elementary school. And it isn’t that I hate myself, because I don’t. I love who I am.
It’s an unexplained attraction to Latino culture, (and really all cultures fascinate me.) If you believe in reincarnation, maybe I was Latina in a former life. ¿Quién sabe?
The Spanish language is what allowed me to meet Señor López, el amor de mi vida. He didn’t speak English back then and my Spanish wasn’t as good as it is now. Pero, who needs words? There’s no talking when you’re busy besando anyway ¿verdad?
Well, too much besando leads to things. Tú sabes lo que estoy diciendo! We were young, we were foolish, we got married. More than 10 years later, here we are with two sons.
Oh, there’s one more member of the household I neglected to mention, and I’m not talking about the dog… My suegra lives with us. Who’s authentic now, huh? I got the mother-in-law y todo.
Okay, so now you know. I married a Latino and that’s how I became la Señora López, but what makes me Latina-ish?
Pues, I speak, read and write en español, every day. Sometimes I even dream in Spanish. My favorite music ranges from Chicano rap and Reggaeton, Ranchera, Mariachi and Norteños to Salsa and Merengue. (And I can dance them más o menos, too.) … In the kitchen I can cook up arroz con pollo, tamales and all of my husband’s favorites. On Sundays we go to Spanish language Catholic mass.
Ok, so eating tacos and watching Pedro Infante movies doesn’t make me Latina, but it makes me Latina-ish. You can call me what you want. Poser, wannabe, gringa confundida, but la verdad is, Latinos come in all sorts of flavors.
Besides, I’ve lived long enough to know that it’s what’s on the inside that matters, and no one can tell me what’s in my corazón. I am who I am, and I’m not changing for nadie.
-Señora López
To learn more:
• New here? Visit the Frequently Asked Questions page.• Check out my interview on NewLatina.net
• Read the story about how I met Mr. López
I relate to your story very much. Even as a small child, all my really close friends were of the hispanic descent, and I remember very much wanting to be adopted by a nice Mexican family in our church for many years, as they seemed like my “perfect match!” Muchos besos lead to a passionate marriage, and I can’t think of any better way to eat than the way we do now, pozole, tamales, caldos, sopas, tortas, tostadas, tacos, frijoles. I mean, seriously, how sad would our tastebuds be if we had married John Smith, lol. Anyway, I too read, write, and speak Spanish and think that everyone should and can learn as well. It amazes me everyday (even 10 years later) how many doors have been opened, relationships created, friendships cemented, because of understanding a new lanuguage. I also believe while learning the language, you start to learn about the people, and anytime you study another culture, I feel you grow as a human being. So, besides looking very white with blonde hair and blue eyes and tons of freckles, I am your sister Latina-ish, over in Sunny SoCal.
Mrs. John Smith: LOL. I also got the tongue-in-cheek question: “What if you had married Joe Smith?”- to which I replied, “If I had fallen in love with Joe Smith, I would have married him.”
Humincat – Bien dicho, hermana :)
Oh how I love your blog so <3! Je parle un petit peu de Francais, mais je comprehend plus. I wish I could know more… since moving to this anglo-saxan very white and English island… I've lost a lot of it. I grew up on a boarder between Quebec and Labrador and I have always loved the French language it's the language of love. That being said… some of the spanish is hard to understand… I get some of it from context… maybe for the first little while I'll have to google what you mean lol!
@ Mandy – No Googling necessary! I am trying very hard to keep the Vocabulary page of the blog up to date. Every word or phrase I use in Spanish should be over there, (and it’s alphabetized for easy look up.) :)
LOL, You really made reir, it seems you are more latina than me, I am a mexican married to a gringo. I wish my hubby had that passion for latino culture, pero en fin. Cuidate mucho, mana!
You may even know my brother’s wife (another gringa passionate about latino culture) they live in Sterling.
P.S.
I’m sorry about the MIL.
Hey Micky, thanks for stopping by, and thank you for the condolences on the Suegra. She keeps life from being boring, that’s for sure.
I don’t know anyone out in Sterling, but good to know there are others out there that “get” me.
If you’ve got a blog, please feel free to leave the link next time you comment. I would love to see marriage from your perspective, (married to a gringo.) … If Mr. López started a blog, I’m sure he’d have plenty to say. This marriage is a bit like I Love Lucy sometimes. I’m pretty sure I make him just as crazy as his mother makes me ;)
http://noordinarylife-micky.blogspot.com/
I just started one! I am not a writer and sometimes I have hard time organizing my ideas, it is in Spanish I though about doing it bilingual, but I am lazy. Any feedbacks are welcome.
@ Micky – Great! I will be over to visit :)
Señora: I love your blog! Stumbled on it today and am definitely adding you to my blog reader. Looking forward to reading more of your adventures!
@ Lesley – I’m following you, too :) Thanks!
Has acogido con tanto amor la cultura latina que eso te hace una perfecta Latina-ish!
Saludos para ti, tu esposo y “los cipotes”!
@ Claudia – Muchisimas gracias. Saludos para ti y tu familia tambien. Mucho gusto :)
I’ve been following your blog and enjoying it a lot. I’m in much the same situation and it’s nice to have someone to relate to!
@ Terra – If you have a blog, please feel free to leave the link here so I can come visit you. Yes, it feels good to know there are others in a similar situation! Estamos hermanas en espiritu :)
Great blog! I stumbled upon it as I was trying to figure out how to fill out the race question on my census form. I found your piece on the subject very helpful. Muchisimas gracias!
This is a pretty cool About Me !!
Go Ahead Girl DO YOU !!
Love it!!!
I just stumbled upon your site as I was surfing the web…and I found you. I really like this blog and felicidades for having such a strong representation for what it is you truly love….
your newest reader :)
Wow, you’re my newest reader? How cool is that. You didn’t know me, but I already know you. I’ve been reading your blog for quite awhile. Much respect, man!
It was so nice to meet you in person at the Que Rica Vida event. Girl you are one of us, no matter lo que digan! You blend in just perfect.
Now we need to try to meet up soon and have our chiquitos jugar.
Saludos.
lisa renata
@ Lisa – Sometime this summer, por supuesto!
It was great coming across your blog this morning. Lots of cross cultural chingaderas are what makes us who we are. I found your blog refreshing and insightful but this About part especially intriguing. The lines are blurred between the “Us” and “Them”, whoever the hell those categories are/were.
I live in Phoenix. It’s a very interesting time to live in AZ with the BS of AZ 1070 top of mind. Lots of racism, lots of over reactions. The pendejo factor has come into effect.
Nice to come upon you, I look forward to more.
My high school Spanish teacher was a “gringo” named Mrs. Lopez. She was a little slip of nothing, barely 5 feet tall, and had these wicked teal green eyes. If memory serves me correct, her husband was a hispanic male who also taught Language at the same school, French I believe.
Great blog!
I LOVE this :)I am very much a “gringa” and speak only a teeny bit of spanish… but last summer on a trip to Nicaragua, I truly fell in love with the language… way to represent :)
Interesting blog. Down to earth content. Earnest attempt at Spanish. Honest. I like it.
Good for you!! I am trying to learn spanish too- even though I am not Latin nor Spanish nor a Senora either…
Have you checked out Marc Anthony’s new album Iconos? BEAUTIFUL!!
@ Songbird – Haven’t had a chance. Marc Anthony is good but not one of my favorites. I’ll check it out though!
CLAPCLAPCLAP.
Now you’ve got a fan in España.
Me chifla tu blog. Guapi :)
You go girl! You speak more spanish than I do and I’m Puertorican. As you know, Latinos come in all shades but more than where you or your parents come from. Being Latina is more in the heart than the outward appearance and girl you got the heart!
Much love,
Boni
Hola Senora Lopez. Me Llamo Pilar. Mi padre son (right?) de Panama pero mi I am totally American. My mother is from the deep South but speak fluent Spanish. I think she majored in Spanish in college. My Spanish is so poor that it’s laughable! Anyway! I enjoyed reading your blog. Thanks for sharing your experiences as a Latin-ish woman. I may claim that for myself! =)
@ Vphotoblogger – Since you asked, (I don’t usually correct people since I make plenty of mistakes myself), it would be:
Hola Señora López. Me llamo Pilar. Mi padre es de Panama pero yo nací en los Estados Unidos. (or, Mi padre es de Panama pero yo soy completamente Americana.)
Anyway – you’ve got a foundation and it’s never too late. And lucky you! Your mother can give you free private lessons? :) I would love to hear more about you since you were born into a similar situation as my children. (Latino father, non-Latina mother in the United States.)
BTW – I’ve always loved the name “Pilar”.
Wow! I love what you’ve written. I can definitely relate. I’m Anglo, too, and when I was young, I fell in love with a Mexican boy. Eventually, our paths diverged, but I always remember him fondly. I wound up changing my major from French to Latin American Studies.
However, I still loved my French friends, cultivated MANY more Latin American friends of many countries, and wound up marrying a Japanese! (I even speak a little of my hubby’s language, too.) For the past few years, I’ve been working on refreshing all my languages, and I’ve also been studying Italian.
Call me “Latina-ish, like you, and also Francaise-ish, and Italiana-ish, and Nihonjin-ish (Japanese-ish.) Sometimes, I think the human heart, given freedom and not taught hatred from the first, knows no bounds of love.
LATINA-ISH, I APPLAUD YOU FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL BLOG. So glad I discovered you!
@ Rita – Another multi-cultured heart :) I also immersed myself in various other cultures, (Italian and Korean were two of the others I became a part of at one time.) I still love all cultures, but obviously Latin American is especially special to me. Glad you discovered me, too, and I look forward to getting to know you.
LOL! You crack me up! You sound like you are straight out of mi familia! I’m going to call you prima ;)
YES! I have a new prima! :) {{abrazos}}
What a great Spanglish introduction! Too charming (and all too understandable in various ways). =)
Love your “About Me” page! I bet you even speak/write/read better thn lots of Latinas so go head girl – represent!
Hola Señora López!
FYI, I’ve read your “About Me” several times and I LOVE IT. I get warm fuzzies reading it, too. It’s very encouraging to me that you have found your happy place in the cultural spectrum.
Now that I come to think of it, no one has to choose…
;)
@ Laurita – Thanks so much. It feels good to know I’m able to make others feel that way :)
i’m forwarding your page to my college spanish professor who supervised my thesis on chicano literature. you’re obviously not chicana, you’re latina-ish, but that makes you even more interesting and quite unique:)
well, i’ve got to go check out your other posts!
I just found your blog through the Tag feature on Humor. I am a fairly new blogger myself, so I enjoy discovering other blogging voices out there. I can kind of relate to your identity crisis. I am a 2nd generation Mexican american, born and raised in LA, until we moved to Suburbia, when I was 12. I love my culture but I was not raised with the language, and as a teen growing up in the suburbs where there weren’t too many Mexicans, I would sometimes want to be part of the Barbie/Surfer Girl dominating the SoCal neighborhood I lived in. Good luck on your blog, and if you have a few moments, stop by my blog and say hi.
www:lifewellblended.wordpress.com
Oh Tracy you are the master of spanglish! Me fascinó leer tu about. You were definitivamente Latina in a past life. Sin duda!
Now compermisito, gonna go read your archives.
Cheers!
Sue V.
Love this “about me”!!! I feel kinda the same.. except I wanna be Mexican and Chile isn’t cutting it for me, it’s really not all that different that the U.S. and it lacks the spice and weather that Mexico has. I’ll be keeping myself updated on your Latina life!
I was happy to find your blog. You’re definitely another “Latina-ish” girl :) … The way you feel about Chile, I felt in Spain. It wasn’t different enough. I loved Mexico and El Salvador though. Do you think you’ll be moving north?
Hola!!! Hello! La verdad no se como fue que encontre tu blog, but I am so glad I did. (Pienso que fue porque estube buscando recetas de albondigas!=)
Estoy tan curiosa de el tiempo que tu y Carlos se conocieron. Osea, en detalle. Or did i skip an entry already covering this subject?
I wanna know how was your relationship antes que se podian comunicar… did you do hand signals? LOL….
Or a lot of pointing.
Please share with us!! =D
I enjoy reading you blog.
Aparte de ser un blog muy interesante, the words you chose to write with make it that much better!
<3
Con mucho amor,
Loyal Reader
(desde ayer!)
What kind words! Gracias :)
As for la historia de Carlos y yo – yes, I’ve posted it in 5 parts… You can begin it here:
http://latinaish.com/2010/09/27/te-encontrare-part-i/
Parts II, III, IV and V are all linked at the bottom of each post as you go along.
Thanks again for reading – it means a lot to me.
Amor y Suerte!
Thank You!!! Thank You.
Siempre tengo que hacer en trabajo con tu blog.. jajaja… shhh no le digas al patron.
=)
Oh my goodness! No sabia que there were so many more people iqual que yo! Mi esposo es de El Salvador y la mayoria de mis amigas son Chicanas. I’m so glad I found your site! I’m pretty sure I’m the only gabacha you can find in northern Utah con un tatuaje que dice La Guera. I’m so glad que ya no soy la unica!
Josie – Hermana! LOL. Bienvenida. Over the past year and a half I have found so many “sisters” through Latinaish, and it still makes me smile to get comments and messages like this. I can’t wait to learn more about you and hope you will be back to chat.
Love the idea of your tatuaje!
Unexplained attraction to Latino culture: the French philosopher Pascal has said, “The heart has its reasons that reason does not know.” And I agree that you’re not hating or denying your own culture. I also feel that my Italian heritage is a sweater that does not fit, simply because I was only “clothed with” the oppressive aspects tainted with racism and woman-hating. If I had met my wonderfully global Italian-born friends back then, I might have embraced the culture more. My Dominican husband always reminds me not to forget my roots, and I am more inclined to explore them now that I have flourished in another culture.
I sing at the Spanish-language Catholic Mass but also when the Cathedral holds the Italian Mass and St. Anne’s Feast. The best celebration of all is St. Joseph’s Day, when the two communities come together and I get to switch between fluent Spanish and less fluent Italian.
Like you, I spoke Spanish that was a bit halting, and my husband’s English was limited to a few words. But this is the second marriage for both of us and we have no children together. His children are grown and we do have grandchildren who call him “abuelo” and me by my first name.
The saddest thing about being la Sr. de Nolasco is that I don’t have a Suegra. She died of cancer when Ramon was only 11. I do have a photo that I took of her picture.
Wow. I LOVE that Pascal quote. Thanks for sharing it! – Thanks also for sharing your story :)
Should be la Sra. de Nolasco- oops!
Hi!! I am SRA Canales, your latina-ish sister from another mister. I’m gringa, and my wonderful husband is from El Salvador, but sadly he was deported back a few months ago. I love novelas, spanish food, music, all. I just now found your blog and had to say hi.
I am a Sra. too, with a German last name…..Texas bolillo (yes, white bread haahaa). I speak, cook, listen, read, and write espanol and my boys can speak some MEAN Spanglish, which, by the way is awesome in my book :)
I love this blog. Thanks for giving us “guannabes” a place to come together :)
The girls and I cooked up some pupusas today, and some curtido too, to celebrate my husbands birthday. I don’t do them perfect, like on the pupusa truck, but also not bad for a gringa. he should have been here to eat them with us :(
My pupusas aren’t perfect either… Where is your husband? Sorry he isn’t with you :(
Feliz cumpleaños to him.
Thanks! He’s back in El Salvador, they deported him in April, on my little one’s birthday no less. We have two ninas…and unless the immigration laws change dramatically, he is not able to apply to reenter for 10 years, after the girls will be grown of course. It’s been very hard, but skyping and celebrating in spirit helps us make it.
I’m really sorry to hear that. …I still can’t wrap my mind around the fact that the government is able to rip apart families because someone crossed an imaginary line that human beings made up… It makes me so angry and so sad… I wish things were different. I’m sorry for both you and your husband, as well as your girls who are growing up without their father.
{abrazos}
Great blog. I’m in a similar boat- I’m very “Latina-ish” myself having been with my Colombian husband for 10 years and we have a 4 year old daughter. :)
Mucho gusto, Felisha :) Congrats on 10 years of marriage. The madrina of my youngest son is Colombian so I have a good impression of the people. Do you make arepas? (Love them!) … Also, my husband’s country, (El Salvador) has something in common with your husband’s country — Cumbia music.
Hope to see you around here. Thanks for your comment!
Where is the “Like” button =)
Nice to meet you Señora López.
You have so many comments, I hope you see this one! :) I have followed you on twitter and I don’t know how I just hadn’t noticed your blog! I know, it must seem crazy, but sometimes when you read you lose site of the sources–google reader, hootsuite, facebook, google+, etc. Well, now i found your blog and i love it. We have much in common. I started writing my blog actually to keep me immersed in spanish language and culture–learning, reading, writing. My experiences, language learning, and interests have mostly centered on Argentina. I know, it’s totally different– vocabulary, accent, etc. In fact, when i started learning with my argentine teacher, it never really dawned on me how different all the accents and vocabulary were. Anyway, i have loved the journey and I’m so happy I found your blog and I will have to catch up by reading through it! Have a great day. besos.
LOL! Your bio is hilarious!!! =] … la mucha funny!!!
Me encanto’ tu blog! Yo he vivido en San Diego casi toda mi vida, pero mis padres siempre me inculcaron tradiciones y principios importantes en la cultura latina (Mexicana en mi caso). Great blog and great stories :)
Great Story chica!
Love it read the entire thing! And as long as you are representing in a positive matter that is all that matters!
OMG……LOVED THIS!!! I am a Chicana (Mexican-American) but I totally identify more with the Mexican side…I love my country but still I need to speak spanish and hear spanish all the time…all my facebook is just spanish-speaking mexicans, I mostly watch spanish tv, I LOVE MEXICAN MEN (ahem), my mother made sure we grew up without the “american culture” so we could identify with mexicans.
but I thought this was hilarious! good for you!
Gracias Druscilla!
You’re fortunate that your mother raised you with such a love for your roots – that’s a valuable thing! I look forward to seeing you around the blog :)
My friend Joe Ray suggested I read your blog; and I’m so glad because you are truly witty! I’m from El Salvador but arrived in Los Angeles when I was a young teen. I miss my country which I used to visit in the early years but haven’t been there for a long time.
I’ll make it a habit to read your blog and keep the connection to nuestro Pulgarcito.
BTW, I’m married to a white Minnesotan, who as Mr. Lopez is the love of my life. I have, like you, learned to live in two cultures.
Glad I ‘accidentally’ found your blog site. My dad was German-American from Arkansas and my mom Mestiza from Honduras. I grew up bilingually–Spanish to mom and English to dad, only by choice, as his Spanish was flawless. I adore my Hispanic background and am so grateful our mother did not let us forget our beautiful language. It warms my heart that you love Latin American culture so much (I identify more with the Latinos than the Anglos, BTW) and congratulate you that you found ‘el amor de mi vida’ en el Sr. Lopez. I’m very Hispanic-looking but have a beautiful blue-eyed, blonde daughter from my first marriage to a ‘white’ boy (she speaks Spanish, too, and on occasion has caught out some Latina girls talking about her!) and a gorgeous ‘piel canela’, hazel-eyed son from the second husband, a ‘Chicano’, with whom I had 18 passionate years! Yet, ‘el amor de mi vida’ finally came in the form of a very white, very slender New Zealander, 16 years my junior, with whom I’ve been happily married for 22 years. I live in Australia now, of all places, but my culture lives deeply in my heart and soul and my husband smiles when he sees me dancing around and singing loudly to my Spanish CDs. My children, still in the US, are proud to be “Hondureños” and miss eating their Grandma Toña’s arroz con pollo, mondongo, lengua, etc. Thanks for being such a real Latina! Que Dios la bendiga y besos desde Perth, Australia.
Wow, Ana! What a story! So happy that you found el amor de tu vida and that the passion is still strong after all these years. It goes to show, one never knows when/where love will come from. (New Zealand!) I wish you continued love and happiness in Australia. I hope you get to see your kids on occasion despite the distance. You’ve certainly given them an amazing gift by keeping their culture, language and heritage alive in their hearts.
Thanks for reading and taking a moment to comment. Besos!
Mrs. Lopez,
I am doing research on Latinos and marketplace and all this great stuff and then I found you!! Holy Tamales -women you rock!!! I am really impressed not only by how you have adopted the culture but how well, you write about it. I see myself in your house…it’s so funny! I couldn’t stop laughing for about 15 minutes with one of your entries. You make me so proud to say 100% Salvadorian babe:-)
I’m inspired to see how our roots will live on with families like yours and all those who have commented!
@Ana -your story is soooooo cool so when can we go visit you in Australia :-) Just kidding but your story is so inspiring.
All of you make me feel so proud de ser un mujer Latina en los United..lol :-)
Thank you and keep posting! You have found new follower to your blog! Thank you for great work you do for all of us!!
Jackie
Its great that you can be what you want to be and you love Latino culture, however what happened to you and where you come from? I grew up bi-racial, bi-cultural, half and half, or whatever you want to call me. I can choose what I want to be because God gave me that leway when he created me as a mixed individual. If I decided maybe to marry an Asian, I would feel quite silly trying to come off as one, dont you think? I am not trying to judge you, you do you and you do what you need to do to be happy in this life. All I ask is that you think about it and see what it is deep down inside that is causing you to deny your heritage. I am Latina and white and I cannot deny either part of it. I cannot deny that I am white and I cannot deny that I am Latina, its how God made me. I am engaged to a Mexican guy, however, I dont follow his culture at all cause I am waaaay too proud, but its me and I just cant fathom following the culture of someone else. I initially came to your blog looking for articles on mixed Latinos, but seeing you are not Latina and dont really understand what it is to be “Latinaish” Because you simply are not. You have to have that in you your whole life and deal with people who try to tell you are not something or enough of something and try to downplay your actual heritage. Listening to certain types of music, eating certain foods, or learning to speak a language does not make you something that you are not already born. Your parents have to put that identity in you.
How did I deny my heritage? I laid it out pretty clearly and honestly here and I’ve never claimed to be something I’m not. I’m a white girl immersed in Latino culture – that’s my reality.
Fact of the matter is, I’m raising two bi-cultural/bi-racial/bi-lingual kids and it usually falls to the mother to keep traditions alive in the family. Regardless of my own personal story here, would it be fair to raise them not knowing their father’s roots? If it weren’t for me, the kids wouldn’t even speak Spanish. There’s no way you can make me feel ashamed for what I’ve given to my kids because it’s one of the best things I’ve done and will ever do in my life.
I don’t understand what you want me to do here. You want me to deny myself the things that make me feel happy, the things I’m naturally drawn to, the things I’m passionate about — Doing THAT would be living a lie.
You know, it’s funny you came here looking for articles on mixed Latinos – hoping to find someone who would understand you. Because I’m not bi-racial/bi-cultural according to your standards, you’re discriminating against me. I’d expect better from someone coming from your background. You know what it’s like to try to balance two worlds and have people tell you “you’re not enough” – and yet you’re doing the same to me. Maybe you’re the one who needs to look deep down inside.
Good luck with that.
Hazme el fregado favor!!!!! “Vero” (if that is her real mixed heritage bi-cultural bi-racial blah blah blah name!) is one of those ignorant uninformed head up her butt people who are so insecure they feel the need to put someone down. Que flojera me da!!
You on the other hand Tracy dear, responded quite well and very intelligently! No need to say more!
What I found very interesting was her comment about being waaay too proud to follow her Mexican boy friend’s culture….huh??? So following the Mexican culture is beneath her? Vero has issues!!