Category Archives: humor
Amor Salvadoreño – un poema
Today is Spanish Friday so this post is in Spanish. If you participated in Spanish Friday on your own blog, leave your link in comments. Scroll down for English translation!
Por el Día de Amor y la Amistad escribí unos poemas para Carlos. Aquí hay uno de ellos.
Amor Salvadoreño – un poema
¿Quieres que te diga cómo es nuestro amor?
Te puedo decir que nuestro amor es
más alto que el volcán de San Salvador
más profundo que el Lago de Ilogpango
más caliente que los días de mayo, y
más largo que el Río Lempa.
Nuestro amor es
más sabroso que una pupusa
más refrescante que una Coca-cola en bolsa
más chulo que La Chulona, y
más comodo que una hamaca amarrada entre dos palmas en la playa.
Nuestro amor es
más emocionante que los cuetes en Nochebuena
más íntimo que la gente apretada en el ultimo bus de San Salvador a Mejicanos
más divertido que las ruedas durante las Fiestas Agostinas, y
más apasionado que palabras entre Areneros y FMLNistas.
Nuestro amor es
más joven de corazón que un cipote jugando capirucho
más coqueto que novios en una pasarela
más rico que los que compran en La Gran Vía, y
más feliz que la mara cuando La Selecta mete un gol.
Nuestro amor es
más rítmico que una cumbia
más fuerte que los Vientos de Octubre
más interesante que el chisme de las vecinas, y
más salvaje que un chucho aguacatero.
¿Quieres que te diga cómo es nuestro amor?
Te puedo decir que nuestro amor es
más grande que nuestro querido El Salvador.
[ENGLISH TRANSLATION]
I wrote a few poems for Carlos for Valentine’s Day – here is one of them. [This poem has some untranslatable parts and loses something in English, but I didn't want to leave my English-speaking friends out so I gave it a try. Note: This poem is full of cultural references that may confuse even native Spanish-speakers who aren't Salvadoran.]
Amor Salvadoreño – a poem
You want me to tell you how our love is?
I can tell you our love is
higher than the San Salvador volcano
deeper than the Lake of Ilopango
hotter than the days of May, and
longer than the Lempa River.
Our love is
more delicious than a pupusa
more refreshing than a Coca-cola in a bag
more beautiful than La Chulona, and
more comfortable than a hammock tied between two palm trees on the beach.
Our love is
more exciting than fireworks on Christmas Eve,
more intimate than the people pressed together on the last bus from San Salvador to Mejicanos
more fun than the rides during Fiestas Agostinas, and
more passionate than words exchanged between Areneros and FMLNistas
Our love is
more young at heart than a kid playing capirucho
more flirtatious than novios on a footbridge
richer than those that shop at La Gran Vía, and
happier than everybody when La Selecta scores a goal.
Our love is
more rhythmic than a cumbia
stronger than the winds of October
more interesting than the neighborhood gossip
more untamed than a street dog.
You want me to tell you how our love is?
I can tell you our love is
bigger than our beloved El Salvador.
Central American Chow Mein

Some of you reading this are probably very excited and some of you a probably very confused – so let’s make sure we’re on the same page. Chow Mein, (also sometimes spelled Chao Mein, and often pronounced by some native Spanish speakers as “Chow Ming”), is best known as a noodle dish from China. Many people don’t realize that just as we have our Americanized versions of Chow Mein in the United States, there are well-loved versions of the dish all around the world, including in Central America.
Guatemala in particular has a great love of Chow Mein. This do-it-yourself box of “Chao Mein” (pictured below) is a brand commonly found in Latino Markets here in the U.S., and it’s made in Guatemala.
Chow Mein is also a favorite in neighboring El Salvador, and ever since I’ve known Carlos, he has loved Chow Mein, and Chinese food in general.
On our first date we spent the entire day together. For lunch we ate at a hamburger place but for dinner, (yes two meals together in one day!) Carlos wanted to go out for Chinese food. As we were waiting to be served at the Chinese restaurant, two waiters were standing nearby having a conversation in Chinese. Carlos jutted his chin in their direction, “Entiendes lo que dicen?” [Do you know what they're saying?] he asked me.
“No, no hablo Chino,” I responded perplexed.
“Yo sí,” he said, smiling, and then he proceeded to invent a translation of the waiters’ conversation.
I wasn’t convinced, but as you know, we soon married anyway. Years later Suegra moved in. When Suegra lived with us and we would go out to eat, we often ended up at Chinese buffets because it was the one cuisine she wouldn’t complain about. I never ate so much Chinese food in my life until I married a Salvadoran!
So, with that being said, here is my version of Salvadoran Chow Mein, which is basically the same as Guatemalan Chow Mein, although families each have their own unique way of making it.
Chow Mein (Central American style!)
Ingredients:
1 package of “Chao Mein” noodles, or any brand Chow Mein Stir Fry Noodles
1 cup raw mushrooms, sliced
1 cup chayote (also known as güisquil), julienned
1 cup carrot, julienned
1 cup celery, julienned
1/2 cup green onion, (sliced lengthwise and then cut in 1 inch pieces)
5 chicken thighs, cooked and shredded (see notes below)
oil for frying (sesame oil and/or canola oil)
1/3 cup soy sauce (low sodium soy sauce can be used)
Notes Before We Get Started:
• It’s not necessary to buy the box of “Chao Mein” noodles pictured above. The box contains the noodles, a little packet of soy sauce (not nearly enough for my recipe), and 2 seasoning packets which I discarded because they contain MSG which I avoid. You can buy any Chow Mein Stir Fry Noodles. You may need to buy 2 packets of Chow Mein noodles depending on the size of the packages. You’ll want about 12 ounces to feed a hungry family of six people.
• This recipe is very flexible, feel free to try different vegetables and to increase the vegetables to make it healthier. You can also replace the dark meat chicken with chicken breast meat, steak or shrimp. I used green onions because that’s what I had on hand, but any type of onion you like can be used.
• If using chicken, you can cook it however you like. I cook it like this: Boil the chicken thighs in water with a little annatto (also known as “achiote”), a little salt, a little pepper, 1/2 an onion and a tablespoon of minced fresh garlic. After the chicken has cooked through, remove to cool. Once cool, discard the skin and bones. Shred the meat by hand and set aside. (The leftover broth can be used in another recipe.)
• For those who aren’t familiar, chayote (“güisquil” to Central Americans), is a type of squash, usually light green in color and about the size of a fist with one puckered side. The flavor is very mild and pleasant. To use chayote in this recipe, wash it and then julienne it, (i.e. cut it approximately into the size and shape of matchsticks or shoestring-style french fries.) You do not need to peel it but there is a small white seed in the middle you should discard.
• You can use sesame oil or canola oil for frying. I like to use equal amounts of both. The sesame oil gives it a nice flavor which helps make up for the fact that I discard the “condiment/flavoring” packets.
Directions:
1. Prepare all vegetables while the chicken cooks. Put the vegetables in a large bowl together and set aside.
2. Prepare chicken (see notes above), and then set aside.
3. Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Put the noodles into the water and cook about 5 minutes until al dente, being careful not to overcook them.
4. Remove the noodles to a colander to drain. Set aside.
5. In a large skillet over high heat add a few tablespoons of oil. Use either canola oil or sesame oil, or use equal amounts of both, (which is what I do.)
6. When the oil is very hot, add the vegetables, and stir them continuously for one to two minutes.
7. Add the chicken and continue stirring for another minute.
8. Add the noodles and continue stirring for another minute.
9. Add 1/3 cup soy sauce, stir and remove from heat.
10. Serve and enjoy!
Muy Yum
Today is Spanish Friday so this post is in Spanish. If you participated in Spanish Friday on your own blog, leave your link in comments. Scroll down for English translation!
A veces mi cerebro bilingüe tiene su propia mente, y hoy les doy un ejemplo. El último fin de semana yo vi unos bolados en Target que se llaman, “Toast Stamps.” Toast Stamps son diseños en plástico que uno puede apretar encima de su pan de caja para decorarlo antes de tostarlo. Es una estampilla para pan, entonces. A mi no me interesa comprar esa cosa pero habia una en español, y eso sí me fascinó.

Me tomó un minuto para fijarme que esta “Toast Stamp” no dice “MUY” en español – Dice “YUM” [sabroso] en inglés pero es al revés para que salga corecto en el pan.
¿Cuándo fue la última vez que tu cerebro biligüe jugaba trucos contigo?
ENGLISH TRANSLATION
Sometimes my bilingual brain has a mind of its own, and today I’ll give you an example. Last weekend I saw these things at Target that are called “Toast Stamps.” Toast Stamps are plastic designs that one can press into their bread slice to decorate it before toasting. I wasn’t interested in buying this thing but there was one in Spanish, and of course that got my attention.
It took me a minute to realize that this “Toast Stamp” doesn’t say “MUY” [very] in Spanish – It says “YUM” in English but it’s backwards so that it comes out the right way on the bread.
When was the last time your bilingual brain played tricks on you?
Películas Clasicas Mexicanas
Today is Spanish Friday so this post is in Spanish. If you participated in Spanish Friday on your own blog, leave your link in comments. English translation is in italics!
¿Te gustan las películas clasicas mexicanas? Aquí están algunas de mis escenas favoritas. ¿Cuáles son tus favoritas?
Do you like classic Mexican movies? Here are some of my favorite scenes. Which are your favorites?
Poker de Reinas – Corazón de Melón
Pedro Infante – Escuela de Vagabundos – Cucurrucucú Paloma
Pedro Infante – Carta a Eufemia
A Toda Máquina – Gringuita – Pedro Infante y Luis Aguilar
Los Tres Garcias – Pedro Infante
Los Tres Garcias – Pedro Infante, Abel Salazar, Víctor Manuel Mendoza, Sara García & Marga López
Jorge Negrete – Huapango Ranchero
Cantinflas – Por Mis Pistolas
I invited Bob
I’m on the sofa watching TV with the family; Carlos has been changing the channels between a Manchester United game, bullfighting and a Jackie Chan movie translated to Spanish, (La Leyenda del Maestro Borrachón.) Somewhere in between all that I caught a Kentucky Fried Chicken commercial en español which was so hilarious that I had to drop in here and share it.
Kudos to the people who came up with this commercial – Me encanta!
Disclosure: This is not a sponsored or paid post and I do not necessarily endorse KFC – I just like this commercial.
Feliz Día de Los Inocentes!
Today is Spanish Friday so this post is in Spanish. If you participated in Spanish Friday on your own blog, leave your link in comments. Scroll down for English translation!
Hoy me levanté infeliz. Carlos me despertó diciendo: “Tracy, el perro tuvo un accidente terrible en la sala. Ve a ver. Es un desastre.”
Yo sospechaba que él estaba bromeando, pero yo no estaba cierta y fui a investigar. Claro que no habia nada de accidente en la sala y el perro estaba dormido.
“Feliz Día de los Inocentes!” Carlos me dijo. Cuando vio que yo no le hice mucha gracia, él se disculpó y dijo que no más bromas por el resto del día. Ja! Como si no voy a tener mi venganza? Yo no lo creo!
[ENGLISH TRANSLATION]
Today I woke up unhappy. Carlos awakened me saying, “Tracy, the dog had a terrible accident in the living room. Go look. It’s a mess.”
I suspected that he was joking, but I wasn’t sure and I went to investigate. Of course there wasn’t any accident in the living room and the dog was asleep.
“Happy Innocents Day!” [Innocents Day is like Latin America's April Fools Day] Carlos said. When he saw that I wasn’t amused, he apologized and said there would be no more tricks for the rest of the day. Ha! As if I won’t have my revenge? I don’t think so!
Feliz Navidad 2012
Wishing everyone paz, amor, felicidad, salud and blessings al montón!
Sinceramente,
La Familia López
The Noche Buena Pavo

Still marinating our pavo.
Actually, despite the title, this turkey is for tomorrow, Christmas Day. Tonight (Noche Buena), we’re going to have tamales, Mexican queso fundido, and Cuban tostones with mojo. (Not a traditional Salvadoran spread, but somehow, those are the diverse recipes I ended up choosing – and that’s after Carlos discouraged me from making a Venezuelan Pan de Jamón on top of it all.)
I don’t cook poultry that looks like poultry very often. It kind of grosses me out and I prefer to buy boneless, skinless chicken breasts. (Suegra always told me I’d have never survived in El Salvador since she had to wring the chicken’s neck and then pluck it.)
Anyway, when making Panes con Pavo I end up having to handle a whole turkey, which happens maybe once a year. Right now I was just putting the “Salsa Perrins” and mustard on the pavo to marinate and my 11 year old came into the kitchen. He looked at the turkey for a minute, checking it out from both ends and all directions. Then he asked, “Which side is the culito?”
Este Chico Está Loco
Today is Spanish Friday so this post is in Spanish. If you participated in Spanish Friday on your own blog, leave your link in comments. Scroll down for English translation!

Cada día nuestro perro Chico nos muestra que está loco. Le gusta comer tierra de las macetas en la casa, perseguir su cola, tratar de entrar a la tina cuando estoy bañando, y ahora hemos descubierto que le gusta perseguir la luz de una linterna. Por todo eso y más, ya tiene el apodo de “Chico Loco” – pero el otro día en el carro, mientras escuchaba música, yo comencé a reír porque la canción me recordaba al perro. La canción era “Latinos in Paris” por Pitbull y Sensato, y en la letra dice “Este chico está loco.”
Pitbull (el cantante) Loco…
Perro (que no es de raza Pitbull) Loco…
[ENGLISH TRANSLATION]
Each day our dog Chico, shows us that he’s crazy. He likes to eat the dirt from my potted plants, chase his tail, tries to get into the bathtub when I’m taking a bath, and now we discovered that he likes to chase the light from the flashlight. Because of all this and more, he’s earned himself the nickname “Chico Loco” (crazy Chico) – but the other day in the car, while listening to music, I started to laugh because the song reminded me of our dog. The song was “Latinos in Paris” by Pitbull and Sensato, and part of the lyrics go, “Este chico está loco” (This boy/guy is crazy.)
Salvadoran Problems – Colones
You’ve probably heard of “First World Problems”, “White Girl Problems”, “Mexican Problems” and various other versions, but today I give you a “Salvadoran Problem.” There might already be websites and hashtags for this, but here is my first contribution because this actually happened to me yesterday and I started laughing when I realized some of you out there might be able to relate.

As you can see, we have this big jar of pennies and when we are really scraping the bottom of our checking account and need gas or something, we bring the pennies to our bank to send them through the coin changing machine. The only problem is that somehow colones often get mixed up in the jar, (I don’t know how since I try to keep these types of coins in a special box and it’s not like these are even circulating anymore.)
I believe the coin changing machine is supposed to catch foreign coins and spit them back out, but I never want to risk losing one, so I have to dig through the pennies, one-by-one, to make sure I take the colones out.















