Don’t get the wrong idea…

This past weekend Carlos and I had the unhappy chore of shopping for new cellphone service since my contract with Cricket Wireless is coming to an end this month. Because of the way our family’s service was set up, we weren’t able to keep our phone numbers, making this the third cellphone number change for us in three years.

We spent all weekend setting up the new phones and texting all our contacts to apologetically let them know we have new numbers yet again. Most people dutifully changed our numbers in their contacts and replied with simple responses like “Ok! Got it!”

However, the response Carlos received from his Mexican friend Rigo had us both laughing.

rigo-text

Conversations at Casa López – Part 4

casalopez-2

Today I bring back this series with my family’s most recent “bilingual moments” and funny conversations. (Be sure to share your recent funny conversations in comments!)

Tracy: Whatcha doing cutie pants?
Carlos: Not much—
Tracy: I was talking to Chico.

Carlos: Look, the guy at the Latino market gave me the merchant copy. [Shows me a receipt]
Tracy: Why is this the American copy? Did you want it in Spanish?
Carlos: What?
Tracy: Why are you calling this an American copy?
Carlos: No, I said MERCHANT copy.
Tracy: Oh, it sounded like you said ‘MURICAN copy.

“Mommy help! Get him off me! He’s hurting me with jalapeño breath!”

– My older son being pinned down by my younger son who was breathing into his face after eating pickled jalapeños

Tracy: Hey, this book says Mexican women don’t shave their legs. I’m moving to Mexico.
Carlos: Um, that sounds… anticuado. How old is that book?
Tracy: Published…(turns pages)… 1972. Oh.

Carlos: I’m going to cut the grass.
Tracy: It’s Sunday. That’s bad karma.
Carlos: But it needs to be done.
Tracy: Ay ve vos.
Carlos: Well I can’t now cause you jinxed me.

Tracy: Can you grab me a wad of paper towels?
Carlos: Huh?
Tracy: Can you grab me a wad of paper towels?
Carlos: A watt?
Tracy: A wad!
Carlos: What is that?
Tracy: Tanate! Can you grab me a tanate of paper towels?
Carlos: Why didn’t you just say that to begin with?

13 year old: Hey Daddy, have you heard of that singer Macklemore?
Carlos: Yeah, he’s from Soyapango.
13 year old: You say everyone is from Soyapango!

Carlos: Ooo, you got Abuelita chocolate!
Tracy: Yup.
13 year old son: Who’s the old lady on the package?
Tracy: Abuelita, of course.
13 year old: Oh.
Tracy: Hey Carlos, isn’t that the same lady in the Pedro Infante movies?
Carlos: Yup, that’s Nana Tomasita.
13 year old: Let me guess, she’s from Soyapango.
Carlos: Nope. She’s from Chalate.

10 Gifs For Parents Raising Bilingual Kids

Parenting is one of the biggest challenges there is, and bilingual parenting can be twice as hard. Here are 10 animated gifs only parents raising bilingual kids will understand. Laugh, cry, be entertained – I know you feel me.

#1. When your bilingual child is just a baby everything is new and awesome. Mixing the languages together is totally normal and totally adorable. So your reaction when your baby speaks Spanglish is something like:

so-cute

#2. Fast forward 10 years though and your child is still not fluent. Your child’s Spanglish at this stage of the game may have become somewhat less enchanting.

weep-die

#3. But then one day your child says their first curse word in Spanish, (and you know they learned it from you.)

amazing

Hey, at least they’re speaking Spanish.

#4. And then comes that magical age when they get to pick a foreign language at school. The child you’re raising English/Spanish bilingual tells you they want to take… French.

wait-what

#5. Okay, okay. We must embrace all language learning. It’s fine, they can learn French. Maybe they’ll be trilingual you say to yourself. But then they ask for help with their French homework and you discover your mouth will only pronounce French words following Spanish-language rules so you’re completely unhelpful.

blooblah

#6. At some point you realize hey, we’re not speaking enough Spanish at home, so you try the famous “I won’t acknowledge you unless you speak Spanish” tactic.

wont-hear-it

#7. However your child’s reaction to the “I won’t acknowledge you unless you speak Spanish” tactic is:

ok

#8. Time to get stealthy. You decide you’ll try to sneak Spanish into your child’s life by listening to Spanish-language music in the car.

botas-picudas

#9. However, this is your child’s reaction when you listen to Spanish-language music in the car right before they put their earbuds in.

dont-want-to-hear

#10. You’ve all but given up until one day your teenager develops a crush on a native Spanish speaker at school and suddenly takes a renewed interest in learning the language.

Frank-Underwood-Saying-Welcom-Back-House-of-Cards-S2-E1

Día de los Muertos 2014

altar-2014-1

This year marks our 4th year of celebrating Día de los Muertos by creating an altar to remember passed loved ones. In 2010 when I first set up an altar and Carlos asked me to take it down because it made him sad, I completely understood and dismantled it. Día de los Muertos is called Día de los Difuntos in El Salvador and most people don’t see it as a day of celebration. In El Salvador it’s more a day of mourning – so Carlos wasn’t into it.

I thought that would be our first and last altar but the next year my boys remembered the tradition and asked if we were going to build an altar. When I explained that it had made Daddy sad to see his father on the altar they asked if we could make one for a beloved dog who had passed – and so we celebrated the life of Ginger the dog that year.

Last year was a turning point because not only did Carlos say he felt comfortable with me creating an altar for his passed loved ones, I also felt comfortable enough to include passed loved ones from my side of the family.

As I set up this year’s ofrenda I realized how therapeutic Día de los Muertos is for healing. It feels good to be able to look at a photo of my grandfather or Carlos’s abuelos and smile, remembering them.

altar-2014-2

La alegría y la angustia del cambio

hojas

Today is Spanish Friday so this post is in Spanish. If you participated in Spanish Friday on your own blog, leave your link in comments. Scroll down for English translation!

Me di cuenta de algo. Me di cuenta que cuando veo las hojas de colores en otoño siento dos cosas. Primero me siento llena de felicidad porque es una de las cosas más bellísimas en este mundo y soy bendecida por verlo suceder. Todo el año espero este momento breve por ver el cambio en los árboles. Pero bajo de la alegría es una fuerte tristeza saber que los días son cortos y pronto se caerán las hojas, desapareciendo en el viento. Me siento feliz por el momento que está frente de mi, pero angustia porque yo sé que no puede durar para siempre.

Y igual me siento al ver a mis hijos creciendo a hombres.

carlos-boys-pumpkin-patch-collage

No importa lo fuerte que te aferras a esas hermosas hojas o esos hermosos hijos. Ellos cambian. Las hojas se secan y pierden su color. Tus hijos crecen. Es natural que esa realidad debe hacerte sentir triste, pero también recuerdate hay que disfrutar el momento. Tal vez sea un cliché, pero a veces existen los clichés porque no hay verdad más grande. La vida es efímera. Ama lo que tú amas con todo tu corazón.

[ENGLISH TRANSLATION]

Title: The Happiness and Anguish of Change

I realized something. I realized when I see the colored leaves of autumn I feel two things. First I feel full of happiness because it’s one of the most beautiful things in the world and I feel blessed to see it happen. All year I await this brief moment to see the change in the trees. But beneath that happiness is a strong sadness to know that the days are short and soon the leaves will fall, disappearing in the wind. I feel happy for the moment in front of me, but anguish because I know it won’t last forever.

And I feel the same to see my sons growing into men.

It doesn’t matter how tightly you hold onto those beautiful leaves or those beautiful children. They change. The leaves dry out and lose their color. Your children grow up. It’s natural that this realization should make one feel sadness, but let it also remind you to enjoy the moment. Maybe it’s cliche, but sometimes cliches exist because there is no greater truth. Life is fleeting. Love what you love with all your heart.

13 Gifs Only Latinos Married to Gringas Will Understand

Today is Spanish Friday so this post is in Spanish. If you participated in Spanish Friday on your own blog, leave your link in comments. English translation is in italics!

Aunque estos gifs estan basados en la experiencia personal de Carlos, si eres un Latino/a casado con una gringa/o, tal vez identificas con algunos de ellos. (Y si eres una gringa/o casado con Latino/a, chequea este post: 20 Gifs Only Gringas Married to Latinos Can Understand.)

Although these are based on Carlos’s personal experience, if you’re a Latino/a married to a gringa/o, you may identify with some of these. (And if you’re a gringa/o married with a Latino/a, check out this post: 20 Gifs Only Gringas Married to Latinos Can Understand.)

#1. borednow

Cuando vas a una “fiesta” de tus suegros gringos y no hay música o baile.

When you go to your gringo in-laws “parties” and there’s no music or dancing.

#2. nothing-can-do

Cuando estás tratando de ver las noticias en español y tu esposa quiere saber por qué hay mujeres semidesnudas en la pantalla.

When you’re just trying to watch the Spanish-language news and your wife wants to know why there’s half-naked women on the screen.

#3. shock

Cuando tu esposa usa palabras en español que aprendió de la música de Pitbull en compañía educada o delante de tu abuela.

When your spouse uses Spanish words she learned from Pitbull’s music in polite company or in front of your abuela.

#4. does-not-get-it

La reacción de tu esposa cuando explicas algo cultural que ella simplemente parece que no puede aceptar, como la necesidad de dar rosas a tu madre en el Día de San Valentín.

Your spouse’s reaction when you explain something cultural to her that she just can’t seem to accept, like the necessity of giving your mother roses on Valentine’s Day.

#5. fight-for-me

Las consecuencias de no defender a tu esposa cuando tu madre criticó a ella.

The aftermath of not defending your spouse when your mother criticized him/her.

#6. naah

La reacción de tu madre cuando le dices que te vas a casar con la gringa.

Your mother’s reaction when you tell her you’re marrying the gringa.

#7. no-michael-scott

Cuando preguntas qué hay de comer y ella dice peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

When you ask what’s for lunch and she says peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

#8. Huh_wtf_uhm

Tu reacción cuando tu esposa o suegros gringos permiten que el perro lame la cara.

Your reaction when your spouse or gringo in-laws let their pet dog lick them all over the face.

#9. sad-cold

En Nochebuena, cuando hace frío, tranquilo y solitario y comienzas a sentirte nostálgico por tu país de origen.

On Nochebuena when it’s cold, quiet and lonely and you start feeling nostalgic for home.

#10. who-am-i

Cuando por fin regresas a visitar tu país natal y todos tus familiares te dicen que hablas divertido porque has perdido el acento local y no conoces las últimas palabras coloquiales.

When you finally go back to visit your native country and all your relatives tell you that you speak funny because you’ve lost the local accent and aren’t up on the latest slang.

#11. cool

Cuando la gente se entera de dónde eres y empieza a nombrar todas sus comidas favoritas de tu país.

When people find out where you’re from and start naming all their favorite foods from your country.

#12. calm-down-children

Cuando tu esposa no cree en disciplina corporal y no puedes utilizar la chancla.

When your spouse doesn’t believe in physical discipline so you can’t use the chancla.

#13. imfine

Cuando tienes una discusión con tu esposa y te acusa de gritar.

When you’re having a discussion with your spouse and they accuse you of yelling.

20 Gifs Only Gringas Married to Latinos Can Understand

Well, okay, the title of this post is a little bit specific to my personal experience, but truthfully, a lot of bilingual and/or bicultural people will relate. Which ones ring true for you?

#1. awkward-get-together

When you have a family get-together and you’re sitting between your monolingual English-speaking family and monolingual Spanish-speaking in-laws.

#2. bad-accent-reaction

When you overhear other gringos mispronounce Spanish words, such as “jalapeño” so it sounds like “hala-pee-no.”

#3. do-you-speak-spanish-telemarketer

When telemarketers call your house and ask, “¿Habla español usted, señora?”

#4. yeah-i-understand

When a native Spanish speaker seriously overestimates your fluency and starts talking crazy fast in a dialect or accent you aren’t used to but you have too much pride to ask them to slow down.

#5. husband-likes-your-cooking-better

When your spouse says you cook his/her native food better than your suegra.

#6. i-have-a-right

When you and your spouse get into an argument brought on by cultural differences and you suddenly feel very patriotic.

#7. im-bilingual-girl

When another chick tries to flirt with your spouse right in front of you.

#8. jacksparrow-spying

When you’re in an aisle at the grocery store and people start having what they think is a private conversation out loud in Spanish, not realizing you understand every word.

#9. pigs-feet

When you’re eating at an in-law’s house and they tell you what parts of the animal the food is made from.

#10. should-i-intervene

When you see a native Spanish-speaker struggling to communicate with an impatient cashier in English and you aren’t sure if you should intervene/help them out because you don’t want to offend them.

#11. spanish-genius

When your spouse forgets a word in their native Spanish, and you remember it before they do.

#12. when-suegra-says

When your suegra says something to you in Spanish that has a double meaning and after a few seconds, you realize it was a backhanded compliment meant to insult you.

#13. witch-eyes

When you visit your spouse’s native country and people compliment your eye color.

#14. waitwhat

The way people look at you in a doctor’s waiting room when they call out your Spanish last name and you stand up.

#15. muy-excited

When you forget a Spanish word mid-sentence and you’re like, screw it.

#16. not-sure-gif

When you fill out paperwork and come to the “Are you Hispanic or Latino/a?” question.

#17. do-i

When someone says, “¡Guau! Hablas muy bien el español.”

#18. glam

When you get ready to go to a party or event hosted by Latino friends or family… (or go out for tacos.)

#19. personal-space

When, even after all these years, you still have very strong gringo/a preferences for personal space.

#20. shrug-seinfeld

When newly married bicultural couples ask you and your spouse how you’ve managed to stay together so long and are hoping for some really wise words to guide their marriage.