A Sweet Game

BY TRACY LÓPEZ
(This was originally published on the now defunct CafeMagazine.com on June 14, 2010. Since this piece is no longer available online, I thought it would be fun to reprint it and take a look back at our familia during the 2010 World Cup.)

On Friday, my kids and I gathered around the television to watch the opening game of World Cup 2010, Mexico vs. South Africa.

I was rooting for Mexico, so naturally the kids were, too, (much to the annoyance of my Salvadoran mother-in-law who awakened to the entire household vested in green).

The kids really like fútbol but they have short attention spans, so to make it more exciting for them I promised candy at half-time – but this was not any ordinary candy. This was a mixed bag of “Dulces Mexicanos” from our local Latino market. Luckily my boys are pretty adventurous and were willing to give everything a try. Here is how they rated the Mexican candies, keeping in mind they’ve been raised on chocolate, butterscotch, jelly beans and other traditional U.S. candies. The candies are rated from one star (yucky-face inducing) to five stars (they’d eat the whole bag if I let them):

boycandy

Coconut “banderitas”: The tri-colored green, white and red Mexican flags were pretty to look at and tasted almost as good. Rating: ***

De La Rosa Dulce de Cacahuate: To be fair, I buy these all the time and am slightly addicted, so this candy is very familiar to the boys. They rated it highly and licked the crumbs from the wrapper. Rating: *****

Pica Pepino Relleno con Chile (lollipop): My younger son took one lick and rejected it. The older one took a few licks and ultimately agreed. I thought it was kind of interesting though. Rating: **

Duvalín Dulce Cremoso Sabor Avellana y Vainilla:
My husband really likes these, but the kids weren’t that impressed. Rating: **

Go Mango Enchilado: I think the boys were more put off by the way this one looked than the way it tasted. They barely gave it a nibble. To me it tasted like a slightly spicy fruit snack. Rating: *

Obleas con Cajeta: How can cajeta possibly not taste good? Yet, they didn’t like this one. Rating: *

Eskandalosos Paleta de Caramelo con Chile: I thought they would reject this one immediately but they loved it. They were fruity flavored with just enough spice to make them interesting. Rating: *****

Benyrindo: Deceptively shaped like a Coca-Cola bottle, everyone was fine with this candy until biting into it and releasing the tamarindo flavored juices. Maybe you have to be raised eating tamarind to appreciate these sorts of things? Rating: *

Pica Limón: One child rated this highly and the other rated it low, yet they both kept trying it and laughing. I think the fun of this one is watching people’s reactions after eating it. Rating: ***

In the end, Mexico and South Africa tied 1-1, bitter disappointment for fans on both sides who wanted to see their team win, but my boys’ memories of the game are not bitter; they are sweet like cacahuate, sour like limón and spicy like chile.

La Jarochita

la-jarochita

Today is Spanish Friday so this post is in Spanish. If you participated in Spanish Friday on your own blog, leave your link in comments. Scroll down for English translation!

Cada día en la radio, Carlos escucha un anuncio de un restaurante en Manassas, Virginia, que se llama “La Jarochita” y al escuchar el anuncio siempre le da hambre – Por esta razón, fuimos el fin de semana pasado con nuestros hijos a Manassas buscandolo.

El estacionamiento estaba grande – uno no tiene que buscar parqueo en la calle – y había camiones vendiendo comida mexicana, rodeados por gente comiendo, hablando y disfrutando de la cálida noche de verano. Fuera de las puertas de La Jarochita, una mujer estaba vendiendo raspados y otras cosas.

Al entrar en La Jarochita, es un poco confuso. Hay mesas con sillas por todos lados, a la izquierada hay un carnicero, a la derecha hay vitrinas llenas de pan dulce, un poco más adelante al derecho hay un mostrador por pedir comida, pero también se puede pedir comida en el mostrador de la izquierda, y hay un tercer mostrador en la parte trasera del restaurante. Carlos eligió la cajera al lado del trompo de la carne al pastor. Mientras él estaba pidiendo tacos, saque fotos y video.

trompo-al-pastor

Como puedes ver en el video, el hombre corta la carne para que caiga sobre la tortilla. Después que corta la carne, con un movimiento rápido del cuchillo, hace un pequeño corte en algo en la cima del trompo, (Yo pensé que era una papa.)

Carlos preguntó al hombre por qué hace este corte a la papa y le dijo “Es la gracia” y nada más. Pero cuando investigué en internet, aprendí que en México hay una piña encima del trompo, y para los tacos de carne al pastor, echan un pedacito de piña al taco.

Ahora no sé si era una papa o una piña que tuvieron encima del trompo en La Jarochita. ¿Tal vez lo hacen con una papa sólo por guardar la tradición de cortar algo después de hacer un taco? ¿O tal vez era una piña? (No vi si puso la papa/piña en el taco pero tal vez él estaba demasiado rapido.)

tapatio

Primero yo estaba sentada en frente del carnicero. Ni pienses en usar Tapatío en tus tacos si visitas a La Jarochita. Tienen un bar con salsas frescas, limones, cebollas, rábanos, y todo que puedes querer.

Luego, cambié mi asiento para tener una mejor vista del comedor. La Jarochita está bien decorada y había televisores por todos lados. Yo estaba mirando El Chavo Animado por unos minutos. Después que saque esta foto, entraba aún más gente – el restaurante estaba llenisíma de familias mexicanas, (sólo había otra gringa más que yo.) El ambiente tenía sentido de como estar en una plaza o mercado en México. Parecía que algunos clientes se conocían unos a otros, así que había un sentido de comunidad que era agradable.

jarrochita

Finalmente los tacos estaban listos!

tacos-la-jarrochita

Carlos ordenó tortas para nuestros hijos y ellos dijeron que estaban buenas. Los tacos estaban riquísimos! Los mejores y más auténticos que he comido. Había tacos de todo lo que puedes imaginar. Yo nunca había oído hablar de algunos tipos de tacos que tenian: Buche, Cabeza, Carnitas, Cecina, Cachete, Curritos, Lengua, Tripa, Masías, Ojo, Pastor, Sudadera, Trompa! … Yo comí dos de barbacoa y dos de carne asada – las porciones eran muy generosos y me llenó.

Definitivamente vamos a volver a La Jarochita.

[ENGLISH TRANSLATION]

Every day on the radio Carlos hears an ad for a restaurant in Manassas, Virginia, called “La Jarochita” and the ad always makes him hungry – That’s why we went last week with our boys to Manassas to look for it.

The parking lot was huge – you don’t have to find street parking – and there were food trucks selling Mexican food, surrounded by people eating, talking and enjoying the warm summer evening. Outside the doors of La Jarochita, a woman was selling raspados and other things.

Upon entering La Jarochita, it gets a little confusing. There are tables and chairs everywhere, to the far left there’s a butcher, to the right there’s display cases full of pan dulce, a little further in on the right there’s a counter for ordering food, but you can also order food at the counter on the left and there is a third counter in the back of the restaurant. Carlos chose the cash register next to the vertical rotisserie for tacos al pastor. While he was ordering tacos, I took pictures and video.

As you can see in the video, the man cuts the meat so it falls onto the tortilla. After the meat is cut, with a flick of the knife, he cuts a little something at the top, (I thought it was a potato.)

Carlos asked the man why he cuts a potato after making a taco and he said “Es la gracia” [I'm not exactly sure how to translate that to English!] and nothing else. But when I researched on the internet, I learned that in Mexico they put a pineapple at the top of the “trompo” [vertical rotisserie], and for tacos al pastor, they throw a bit of pineapple into the taco when it’s cut.

Now I’m not sure if it was a potato or a pineapple that was on top of the spit at La Jarochita. Maybe they do it with a potato only to keep the tradition of cutting something after making a taco? Or maybe it was a pineapple after all? (I didn’t see him put the potato/pineapple in the tacos he made, but maybe he was just too quick.)

First I was sitting with a view of the butcher case. Don’t even consider using Tapatío on your tacos if you visit La Jarochita. They have a self-serve bar with fresh salsas, limes, onions, radishes, and everything you might want.

Then I changed my seat to get a better view of the dining room. La Jarochita is nicely decorated and had TVs everywhere. I was watching El Chavo Animado for a few minutes. After I took this picture, even more people came in – the restaurant was full of Mexican families (there was only one other gringa), and I had a sense of being in a market or plaza in Mexico. It seemed that some customers knew each other, so there was a sense of community that was nice.

Finally the tacos were ready!

Carlos ordered tortas [Mexican-style sandwiches] for our boys and they said they were good. The tacos were delicious! The best and most authentic I’ve ever eaten. There were tacos of everything you can imagine. I had never heard of some of the kinds of tacos: Buche, Cabeza, Carnitas, Cecina, Cachete, Curritos, Lengua, Tripa, Masías, Ojo, Pastor, Sudadera, Trompa! I ate two carne asada tacos and two barbacoa tacos – the portions were very generous and filled me up.

We will definitely return to La Jarochita.

Photographing tortas, and other things I do with my phone

Disclosure: Latinaish.com has partnered with Cricket Wireless as a 2014 Blog Ambassador. All opinions are my own.

Despite what Carlos might tell you, I do more with my Samsung Galaxy s4 than just feverishly live-tweet soccer games, check email and text my amigas. Here are three of my favorite uses for my Cricket Wireless phone at the moment.

#1. Playing the “Runaldo” app:

Runaldo

This game reminds me of early Nintendo games which I love, and it’s made by Salvadorans, (which I also love.) The app is pretty straightforward – You’re a soccer player and you’re running with the ball, trying to avoid obstacles. I’m not very good at it yet because every time the chucho aguacatero [street dog] comes on screen and chases me, I start laughing. You can download the “Runaldo” app for free HERE.

#2. Getting directions to find good comida:

cricket-navigator-2

If I ever have to live life again without Cricket Navigator, it isn’t going to be easy. I can’t tell you how many times the GPS has helped me and Carlos find our way – especially when we’re looking for a new restaurant to check out in an unfamiliar area.

This torta was thanks to Cricket Navigator helping us locate Taco Bar. Enough said.

torta

#3. Taking amazing photos:

instagram-profile

If the torta photo wasn’t enough to convince you, have a look at my Instagram – no, not the Latinaish one, my personal Instagram account. I have two accounts because one is for, well Latinaish sorts of things. However, my personal account I take a little more seriously in terms of the quality of the photos I post. Every photo on it was taken with the Samsung Galaxy s4. (And I heard the s5 has an even better camera.)

What do you love to do with your phone?

For more from Cricket Wireless ambassadors, follow the #VidaConCricket hashtag and @MiCricket on Twitter.

¡Vamos USA!

USA-familia-2

Disclosure: This is a compensated campaign in collaboration with Crest® and Latina Bloggers Connect. All opinions are my own.

The tagline of Crest®’s current campaign is “Más lejos llega tu equipo, más cerca estás” and it’s totally true; with each game, our familia gets closer – not just physically during goal celebrations which turn into hugging-jumping-up-and-down-mini-fiestas, but we’ve had a great time bonding and creating traditions.

I always say I’m not superstitious, and I often tease Carlos because he’s very superstitious, but I have a few “traditions” which make me feel more confident about my team winning a game.

When Mexico was still in, my tradition was to put a can of sweet peas next to the television. My kids were confused the first time until I explained that in Spanish, sweet peas are called “chícharos” – and Chicharito’s nickname is “little pea.” Now it all made sense! (Well, sort of. It still might be a little weird.)

peas

When the US team plays, first of all, everyone in the family is required to wear their American flag T-shirt, (we still need to invest in the official jersey now that, thankfully, the team no longer looks like Where’s Waldo.)

Second, we eat hot dogs during every game the United States plays. I like to make my hot dogs sort of “Sonoran style” with a slice of bacon, mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard, chopped tomato, onion and jalapeño on a bun which I toast for a few seconds on the comal. They’re delicious, but after eating them, your breath will be kicking.

After I finish my hot dogs I usually run off for a minute to brush my teeth, (and hope I don’t miss any of the action!) Since I signed up for this campaign, I bought Crest® Complete + Scope because I wanted to make sure it’s a good product, and that’s the toothpaste I’ve been using. It’s kind of awesome that it’s an “all in one” toothpaste. Not only does it whiten teeth, fight cavities, and prevent tartar, but it has mouthwash built right into it so you don’t knock out any of your family members yelling “¡GOOOOOOOOOOL!”

If you want to #CelebrateCloser and give Crest® Complete + Scope a try, here’s some coupons! (Click here!)

What are your family soccer traditions? How do you celebrate during fútbol games, and which teams are you cheering on? … We can’t wait for today’s game at our house. ¡Vamos USA!

Tostadas de Plátano

tostadas-de-platano-6

Today is Spanish Friday so this post is in Spanish. If you participated in Spanish Friday on your own blog, leave your link in comments. Scroll down for English translation!

Desde que fuimos a un festival salvadoreño el año pasado y comí tostadas de plátano preparadas con curtido y salsa, he estado haciendo mi propia tostadas de plátano en casa porque me encantan. Tostadas de plátano son mi bocadillo favorito mientras ve partidos de la Copa Mundial, y van perfectas con cerveza o una gaseosa. Aquí está mi receta fácil, (que incluye mi nueva receta de curtido. Este curtido es el mejor curtido que he hecho. Creo que el secreto es un poco de azúcar moreno para garantizar el vinagre de sidra de manzana no es tan fuerte.)

Tostadas de Plátano Preparadas con Curtido y Salsa

Para hacer el curtido necesitas:

10 oz bolsa de repollo, (estilo de corto “angel hair” – o sea, cortado muy fino)
4 tazas de agua
1 cebolla pequeña, cortada en rodajas finas
3 zanahorias medianas, ralladas en el procesador
3/4 taza de vinagre de sidra de manzana
1/2 cucharadita de sal
1 cucharada azúcar morena
1 cucharada aceite de canola
orégano al gusto

Instrucciones:

1. Coloque el repollo en un tazón grande. Deja a un lado.
2. En una gran taza de medir de vidrio, calienta el agua a alta potencia durante 5 minutos en un horno de microondas.
3. Vierta el agua en el repollo. Tapar y esperar 5 minutos. Escurrir el agua. (Está bien si un poco de agua se queda con el repollo.)
4. Agregue la cebolla y la zanahoria al repollo.
5. Mezclar el vinagre, el azúcar moreno, el aceite y la sal en un tazón pequeño y verter a la mezcla de repollo.
6. Sazonar con el orégano. Mezclar bien para que todo el repollo está saturado. Deja a un lado.

_____

Puedes hacer la salsa con mi receta (aquí), o si quieres la manera fácil, sólo tienes que utilizar su marca favorita de salsa. Me encanta la “salsa casera marca Herdez – mild.” Hago puré de la salsa en la licuadora y después caliento la salsa en una olla hasta que hierva. Deja enfriar. El calentamiento de la salsa no es necesario, pero creo que le da un mejor sabor.

_____

Para servir las tostadas de plátano, póngalas en un plato, (Goya es la marca más fácil de encontrar. Puedes encontrarlas en el “pasillo hispano” en las tiendas Walmart pero hay otras marcas en mercados latinos.) Encima de las tostadas, añade el curtido y la salsa. ¡Servir y disfrutar del partido!

[ENGLISH TRANSLATION]

Since we went to a Salvadoran festival last year and ate tostadas de plátano prepared with curtido and salsa, I’ve been making my own here at home because I really love them. Tostadas de plátano are my favorite snack while watching World Cup matches and they go perfect with a cold beer or soda. Here is my easy recipe, (which includes my new recipe for curtido. This is the best curtido I’ve ever made. I think the secret is a little brown sugar to ensure the apple cider vinegar is not as strong.)

Tostadas de Plátano Prepared with Curtido and Salsa

To make the curtido you need:

10 ounce bag “angel hair” coleslaw (if you can’t find this, cabbage shredded very fine)
4 cups water
1 small onion, sliced in thin rings
3 medium carrots, processed in a food processor set to “shred”
3/4 cup apple cider vinegar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1 tablespoon canola oil
oregano to taste

Directions:

1. Put the cabbage in a large bowl. Set aside.
2. In a large glass measuring cup, heat the water 5 minutes on high in a microwave.
3. Pour water on cabbage. Cover and wait 5 minutes. Drain. (It’s okay if a little water remains.)
4. Add onion and carrot to cabbage.
5. Mix vinegar, brown sugar, oil and salt in a small bowl, then pour over the cabbage mixture.
6. Season with oregano. Mix well so all the cabbage is saturated. Set aside.

_____

You can make the salsa using my recipe (here, or if you want the easy way, use your favorite non-chunky brand of salsa. I love the “Herdez salsa casera – mild” pureed in a blender. I then heat the salsa in a pot until it simmers, then allow to cool. Heating the salsa is not necessary, but I think it gives it a better flavor.

_____

To serve the tostadas de plátano, spread plantain chips on a plate, (Goya is the easiest to find brand. You can find them in the “Hispanic aisle” of most Walmart stores, but there are other brands available at Latino markets.) Top the chips with curtido and salsa. Serve and enjoy the game!

20 Salvadoran Slang Phrases (in GIFs)

This Spanish Friday I’m going to do things a little differently than usual. Instead of a post in Spanish followed by the English translation, I decided we’d have a little fun and I could do a Salvadoran version of this Mexican slang post on Buzzfeed, complete with animated gifs. Note: Guatemalans and Hondurans may also use some of these words/phrases – and some are probably not appropriate to use around your abuela. ¿Listos? Here we go!

hola-beauty-queen

1. ¿Qué onda, bichos?
Rough English translation: What’s up, guys?

puchica2

2. ¡Púchica!
Rough English translation: Shoot! [Can also be used as a positive exclamation when impressed.]

hiju

3. ¡Hijueputa!
Rough English translation: Son of a bitch!

magico

4. Ta’ chivo, ¿vá?
Rough English translation: It’s cool, isn’t it?

cabal

5. Cabal.
Rough English translation: Exactly.

chucho2

6. El cipote está afuera juegando con en chucho.
Rough English translation: The kid is outside playing with the dog.

patas2

7. Tus patas están bien chucas porque no usaste chanclas.
Rough English translation: Your feet are really dirty because you didn’t use sandals.

ride

8. ¡Ey, chero! Dame un rai!
Rough English translation: Hey friend! Give me a ride!

nervioso

9. Me da nervios.
Rough English translation: It makes me nervous.

paja3

10. Pura paja habla esta maje.
Rough English translation: This idiot tells nothing but lies.

cipitio

11. ¡No seas bayunco!
Rough English translation: Don’t be goofy/stupid!

chindondo2

12. ¡Ay! Golpeaste. Por cierto vas a tener un chindondo.
Rough English translation: Ouch! You hit yourself. You’re going to have a bump for sure.

pisto

13. ¿Tienes el pisto de la cabuda?
Rough English translation: Do you have the cash from the lending circle?

paco-flores

14. ¿Dónde está el bolado?
Rough English translation: Where is the thing?

bolo

15. ¡Qué bien baila el bolo!
Rough English translation: How well that drunk dances!

pupusa-bailando

16. La fiesta estaba bien vergóna. Estaba toda la mara allí.
Rough English translation: The party was really awesome. The whole gang was there. [And by "gang", I mean group of friends, although "mara" can also refer to criminal gangs as well.]

caida

17. Jajaja, ¡te pelaste!
Rough English translation: Hahaha, you screwed up!

vaya-pues

18. Vaya pues.
Rough English translation: Okay then.

yuca

19. Está yuca.
Rough English translation: It’s difficult.

vos

20. Vos.
Rough English translation: You

Latin American Themed Cellphone Cases

latin-american-cellphones

Disclosure: Latinaish.com has partnered with Cricket Wireless as a 2014 Blog Ambassador. All opinions are my own.

Several years ago I was diagnosed as having carpal tunnel syndrome. It’s a common ailment for writers to develop, and I still haven’t gotten around to having surgery. Besides my hands feeling weak and arthritic at times, one of the worst symptoms of CTS is the increased instance of total butterfinger moments. (Those who have CTS know what I’m talking about!)

For the rest of you, let me explain: I’ll be holding something (an ice cream cone, a book, the remote control) and all of a sudden, my hand will just decide all on its own, that it doesn’t want to hold it anymore. I get no warning whatsoever. A frequent victim of these butterfinger moments is my cellphone.

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve dropped my phone – and some of them have been from standing position over concrete. Thankfully I have a case on my phone and so far (knock on wood), my Samsung Galaxy s4 hasn’t been damaged. I’m sure that having a case on my phone has been at least partly responsible for protecting it, so I recently decided to invest in another case, as the one I have on it is pretty boring, (just a cheap grey-colored one.) While looking for a new case, I realized that some of you guys would probably love these as much as I do. Want to help me pick out which one I should buy? I narrowed it down to four and I’m having trouble choosing. Let me know in comments which case I should get!

el-salvador-phonecase
El Salvador phone case from Zazzle/AllWorldTees

sugarskulls-case
Sugar Skulls phone case from Zazzle/Thaneeya McArdle

world-map-case
World Map phone case from Zazzle/PMCustomGifts

frida-1-case
Frida Kahlo phone case from FineArtAmerica/Elena Day

For more from Cricket Wireless ambassadors, follow the #VidaConCricket hashtag and @MiCricket on Twitter.

When Your Hijo is American…

allstate-commercial

While watching a game today, I discovered another company who made a great commercial worth sharing. It’s one of the “mala suerte” Allstate commercials, and in it, a Mexican father and his Mexican-American son are driving to the soccer stadium to go see a game… I don’t want to spoil it by giving too much away, so just check it out! Well done, Allstate!

(I actually wrote about this exact topic during the last World Cup. See the post HERE.)

Refresco de Ensalada

refresco-de-ensalada

Hot summer days call for cool refreshing drinks, and Salvadoran “Refresco de Ensalada” (also known as Agua de Ensalada, Salad Drink, Salad Water, or Fruit Salad Drink), is like drinkable fruit salad. The tiny pieces of minced fruit are not to be swallowed! Sip the sweet liquid, and then savor the apple, mango, pineapple, and orange pieces that find their way onto your tongue. It’s a drink and a snack all at once! Assemble your fruit and get chopping!

fruits

Refresco de Ensalada

You need:

1 20 oz. can pineapple slices in 100% pineapple juice
1 mango, peeled
3 oranges
2 Granny Smith apples
juice of 1 lemon
6 cups cold water
1/3 cup sugar
1/2 tsp. salt

Optional: iceberg lettuce
(See notes for additional variations!)

Method:

1. Put the lemon juice into a large mixing bowl.
2. Mince the apples into tiny, uniform pieces (as you see in the photo below.) Stir the minced apple into the lemon juice as you go along. (This keeps them from turning brown.)

cut-apple

3. Peel the mango. Mince. Add to the bowl.
4. Open the can of pineapple. Pour the juice into the bowl.
5. Mince the pineapple and add to the bowl.
6. Squeeze the juice of 2 oranges into the bowl. (Do this over a sieve to avoid seeds falling in.)
7. Mince the remaining orange and add it to the bowl.
8. If using lettuce, add 1 cup of minced lettuce to the bowl. (I kept mine on the side and added it to my individual cup later since Carlos didn’t want it in his.)
9. Transfer the contents of the bowl to a large pitcher. Add 6 cups of water.

(Note: Once we drank all of the liquid, we later added another couple cups of water to finish off the fruit, so you’re able to add more than 6 cups of water, but you’ll have increase the sugar and salt in the next steps if you do.)

10. Add 1/3 cup sugar and 1/2 tsp. salt. Stir. (I prefer to keep the juice as natural as possible without adding too much additional sugar and it tasted great to me with 1/3 cup. Some may prefer this drink sweeter and you may add sugar to your personal tastes. Carlos added sugar every time he drank a cup of it but my boys and I liked it without adding more. If your fruit is super sweet, you may find you don’t want to add any sugar at all.)

11. You can drink this immediately, but it tastes best if you put it in the fridge for at least 1 hour, (and even better if you can wait until the next day.) Serve cold.

agua-de-ensalada-pitcher

refresco-de-ensalada-con-lechuga
(I like lettuce in mine. It sounds odd, but give it a try!)

Other variations of this recipe typically include mamey, marañon, watercress (“berro”), and even cucumber. Feel free to experiment by adding your favorite fruits and vegetables, or fresh herbs like mint.

An Open Letter to Mr. Clegg, Who Hates American Soccer Fans

Dear Mr. Jonathan Clegg,

There are posers, wannabes and fakes in every group of fans, regardless of the sport – but in your Wall Street Journal article “Why I Hate American Soccer Fans”, you made some pretty harsh judgements. I tried to move on with my day after reading it, but I’ll admit, you got me a bit riled. (So congratulations to you if you’re trolling. Well done, sir.) However, on the off chance that you were sincere in your ridiculous remarks and petty complaints, I would like to set the record straight on a few things.

You want to know why some Americans refer to the sport as “fútbol” instead of “soccer” – I shall explain. The United States is a very multicultural country, and many of us watch our “fútbol” on Spanish-language channels; some even prefer the lively commentary in Spanish, have grown accustomed to it – it’s part of the sport for those who haven’t known it any other way. Some of us even come from Spanish-speaking households, or perhaps watch the game with Spanish-speaking friends. You know, it’s funny, a Brit complaining about Americans calling it “fútbol”, when the more common complaint from our friends across the pond is, “Why do you call it soccer? It’s football!” … Well, you got your wish, it’s just that we decided to say it in Spanish. What seems to be the problema?

Then you complain that some of us call the field a ‘pitch’, the game a ‘match’, and the jersey a ‘kit.’ Although you have assumed otherwise, most people I know don’t do this to be pretentious, but because if we want to watch a game in English, it’s often a British commentator using those British terms. Is it that difficult to understand that when one is a soccer fan in the United States, they inevitably find themselves rubbing elbows literally and linguistically with people who aren’t Americans and thus pick these things up? … But you know what? It’s fine. You can have your pitches, matches and kits back, just kindly return all the Americanisms that have somehow made their way overseas. Oh! And please refrain from watching our Hollywood movies, those are ours. No one else can watch them.

On a related note, you complained about our obsession with ‘tifo’ – Yet, if I’m not mistaken, ‘tifo’ are of Italian origin, so would you kindly tell England and all the other countries displaying them at games to knock it off? Why can’t they come up with their own traditions? While we’re at it, everyone in the world except China must stop setting off fireworks, (with it being a Chinese invention and all.) I’m sure we can come up with some other cool way to celebrate things.

On the topic of these American fans you so detest wearing soccer scarves on hot days – This is not a phenomenon unique to soccer and it does not automatically guarantee you have spotted a “poser.” Americans do all kinds of crazy weather/fashion related things. Have you not seen girls on college campuses wearing furry UGG boots year round? Have you never witnessed shirtless men with painted chests in bone-chilling cold supporting their American football team at the stadium? I also find this particular complaint kind of hilarious given that England’s national team has been practicing while wearing extra layers, including hats and gloves so they can prepare for Brazil’s heat. Maybe you guys would like to borrow some of our scarves since you don’t want us wearing them anymore?

I think the thing that made me most insane about your diatribe was that after all these complaints about Americans pilfering soccer traditions from other countries and telling us how unimaginative we are – you then dove headfirst into telling us how stupid our own unique soccer traditions seem to you. Which one is it, Mr. Clegg? You can’t have it both ways.

As for Clint Dempsey’s nickname, “Deuce” – That’s his rap name, I’m not even kidding, and fans didn’t give it to him. Look it up. (He’s actually really good. Can Rooney rap? Didn’t think so.)

To close, I would just like to remind you, Mr. Clegg, that this nation is built on a foundation of mixed traditions, languages, and adaptations from all the beautiful cultures that make us who we are – I don’t see why you would expect our growing love of soccer to be any different.

See you at the World Cup, amigo.

Tracy López
American soccer fan, like it or not