Category Archives: style
Suave Professionals® hair products and Celebrity Hairstylist, Leonardo Rocco contacted me and offered to come up with an exclusive hairstyle for Día de los Muertos, just for Latinaish.com.
Coincidentally, I sincerely love Suave products, (and nope! This isn’t a sponsored post, te juro! They didn’t even give me free samples.) I use the Suave Professionals® Sleek Conditioner daily, and sometimes the Keratin Infusion one, because they work beautifully on my hair – better than the fancy, expensive stuff my hairstylist sold me. I can’t guarantee you’ll have the same results, but for the price, I recommend checking them out. (And if you do, please let me know what you think!)
Anyway, I thought this was a really well put together campaign – by blending in Día de los Muertos, I decided it fit the types of things I like to share in this space, so I said I would love to work together. I asked Leonardo to come up with a Romantic Updo – nothing too crazy – something that I could actually do with my hair and wear any day I was feeling a little ambitious and wanted to look extra pretty. Below is the hairstyle and step-by-step directions in both English and Spanish if you want to give it a try!
Recogido romántico con flores por Leonardo Rocco
1. Por aproximadamente 3 segundos, bate el Suave Professionals® Volumizing Mousse bien y dependiendo del largo de tu cabello, dispensa el mousse en tu mano. Generalmente el tamaño es de la palma de tu mano. Aplica el mousse en todo el cabello de esta manera con un peine de dientes anchos para cubrir todo el cabello. Este producto es perfecto porque le da hasta 4 veces más cuerpo al cabello sin quitarle volumen o hacer que se vea pesado.
2. El segundo paso es secar el cabello con un cepillo redondo, concentrándote en la corona de la cabeza que es donde quieres tener el volumen.
3. Luego, separa un mechón de cabello desde la oreja hacia adelante a un lado de la cabeza. Con él, haz una trenza francesa que enmarque un lado de tu rostro.
4. Cuando llegues abajo, amarra la trenza y el resto de tu cabello en una cola a la base de la cabeza.
5. Ve separando pequeños mechones de la cola y rizándolos con una tenaza. Luego de rizar cada mechón, envuélvelo con tus dedos y sujétalo con un pasador sobre la cola. De ser necesario puedes sujetar un mechón sobre otro, esto creará volumen. Deja algunos más sueltos que otros para darle una forma más suave al peinado.
6. Finalmente, usa el Suave Professionals® Touchable Finish Extra Hold Hairspray para fijar el peinado. La ventaja de usar este aerosol es que controla los mechones sueltos y es de larga duración, así puedes disfrutar de tu noche sin preocuparte por tu peinado.
7. Coloca una o varias flores de colores alrededor del peinado para darle el look final de Día de los Muertos.
Romantic Updo with Flowers by Leonardo Rocco
1. Shake the Suave Professionals® Volumizing Mousse well for approximately 3 seconds, and depending on the length of your hair place an amount on the palm of your hand. It will usually be the size of the palm of your hand. Apply the mousse throughout your hair using a wide-toothed comb to cover all your hair. This product is perfect because it adds up to 4 times more body without weighing hair down.
2. The second step is drying your hair with a round brush, focusing on the roots where we want to create the most volume.
3. Separate a section of hair from the ear forward on one side of your head. French braid it so that it frames one side of your face all the way to the back.
4. When you reach the back part of your head, tie the braid into a ponytail along with the rest of your hair.
5. Begin curling small sections of hair from the ponytail, looping them and pinning them into place near the ponytail with a bobby pin. Pin some sections more loosely than others to create volume and shape.
6. Finally, apply Suave Professionals® Touchable Finish Extra Hold Hairspray to set the hairstyle. The benefit of using this hairspray is that it controls flyaways and provides long-lasting hold, so your look will last all night.
7. Decorate your hair with one or several colorful flowers around the hairstyle to create the final Día de los Muertos style.
ABOUT LEONARDO ROCCO
Leonardo Rocco’s visions of innovation, vanguard design, and unique approach have secured his position as one of the most in-demand hair artists and celebrity stylist in the industry.
In 1991, together with his family, Rocco opened the doors to the first Rocco Donna Salon in Argentina, followed by the 2004 opening of the Rocco Donna Hair & Beauty Art salon in South Beach, FL. In addition, Rocco is the proud founder of the Rocco Donna Beauty Academy, one of the top five schools of hair aesthetics and design in Argentina.
Rocco is recognized for his involvement in the community as well as his membership in various organizations such as the Latino Fashion Group, MBCC (Miami Beach Chamber of Commerce), and the SFLHCC (South Florida Hispanic Chamber of Commerce), which recently named him the “Hispanic Entrepreneur of the Year”.
In 2010, Rocco launched a new beauty platform called “Miami Hair Beauty and Fashion” by Rocco Donna, an event that will take place every year, which promotes Latin talent along with the latest beauty and fashion innovations and products. Rocco appears on different television shows like “Despierta América”, “El Gordo y la Flaca” and “Escándalo TV.”
Leonardo Rocco’s clientele sets a high standard and there are many celebrities and artists that have been subject to his creative work for interviews, photo shoots, TV appearances, special events, or simply a new look. Among these are: Juanes, Angélica Vale, Paulina Rubio, Eva Longoria, Emilio Estefan, Marlene Favela, Jean Carlos Canela, Luis Fonsi, Maite Perroni, Anahi, Dulce María, Rodner Figueroa, Lupita Jones, Osmel Souza, Katy Perry, Belinda, Alejandro Fernández, Jenny Rivera, Aracely Arámbula, Giselle Blondet, Candela Ferro, Karla Martínez, Poncho de Anda and Adamari López.
Disclosure: This is not a sponsored post and no products were received. As always this is my honest opinion, nada más y nada menos!
Heelys (the shoes with wheels), have a new line of shoes coming out this fall – and many of them are designed for women! I was offered a pair for review but, as much as I wanted to try them, I opted to get a pair for my 10 year old instead. (Honestamente, my roller skating and ice skating skills aren’t so bueno, so I don’t know if I’d be able to get the hang of Heelys.)
Heelys can be worn with or without the wheels, (we will have to take the wheels off if he wears them to school), but most people don’t know they come in adult sizes. In addition to the adult sizes, Heelys is introducing three brand new lines – an athletic shoe which will be lighter in weight, shoes made specifically for girls and women with more fashion forward colors and styles, and a street shoe with improved outsoles. (Ahora falta botas picudas con ruedas. Can you imagine? Now that would be chévere!)
My 10 year old was super feliz to finally get a pair of Heelys. These are the “Element” style Heelys in Youth size 3. The wheels were easy to install and are easy to take out, too.
It took my son about 30 minutes to get the hang of them. The trick is positioning your feet just so.
Once he knew how to use the Heelys, he didn’t want to stop. Here’s a little video to give you a taste of the fun.
Now he wants to learn how to do tricks with the Heelys. I’m happy he’s found another activity to get him outside and away from the video games.
Disclosure: A pair of Heelys was provided for review. All opinions are my own.
Controversy broke out when it was discovered that the 2012 Olympics uniforms for Team USA were made in China. (Read more on CNN.com.) There was so much outrage regarding Team USA’s uniforms that the sponsor (Ralph Lauren), has now promised that they’ll “manufacture uniforms domestically for the 2014 games.”
The timing of this story couldn’t be more perfect. Just the other day I spotted the clearance rack of Independence Day shirts at Wal-Mart. Carlos and I noticed a couple years ago that they were made in El Salvador – (for some reason this always amuses us.) So I went to check this year’s stock of American flag shirts, and sure enough – “HECHO EN EL SALVADOR.”
What do you think about items with the American flag, (or American flags themselves), as well as the Team USA Olympics uniforms being made in other countries?
If our economy was running well and the jobs weren’t needed, would your opinion change? Why or why not?
Look what I found at Wal-Mart for $3 over the weekend:
You may be asking yourself the same thing I asked myself, “Why in the world would Wal-Mart, of all places, have this random awesome shirt in Spanish?”
After flipping through some other shirts on the rack, I finally understood. The shirt is a play on words! These shirts were on clearance from Father’s Day.
The bilingual Latinos For Obama website has launched and I have to say, it’s pretty chévere.
From the slogan/logo:
To some of the merchandise:
To the way President Obama pronounces the word “Latino”:
Es obvio que the Obama campaign knows what gente like.
This past week I got two E-mails from two different people asking me advice on traveling to Miami. The thing is, I’ve only been to Miami twice and as much as I loved immersing myself in the culture of the 305, I wouldn’t exactly consider myself an expert. That being said, I did manage to think up 10 tips with a little help from my friends. So, are you going to Miami? Not sure what to expect? Here are 10 things you should know.
#1. Perfect Bodies
As Miami-native Pitbull says, “Ella es una bombona y su cuerpo, dos siliconas” and “Body is all great, 26 24 28, body parts fake.” That isn’t to say all or even most people in Miami have had plastic surgery to look the way they do – maybe they were born lucky, maybe they’ve worked hard for it, but whether it’s natural or not, the psychological result is the same: Being surrounded by so many perfect-looking people who appear to have walked straight out of a music video can make one feel just a little insecure.
My only advice for you on this one is to be prepared for it, accept it, and try to look your best without comparing yourself to everyone else. Why spend your trip moping that you can’t bounce quarters off your ass? Serious waste of time which could be spent simply enjoying the eye candy.
#2. Cuban Culture & Español
Being in some parts of Miami is kind of like taking a trip to Latin America without ever leaving the country. Experience Cuban food, music and more – soak it up. If you don’t speak Spanish, be prepared to be in the minority. If you do speak Spanish, you might feel like you’ve died and gone to Heaven. The casual Spanglish thrown around here, the way people assume and expect you to speak it, is something pretty special.
#3. Bright Colors
From the natural bright blue of the ocean and the sky to architecture and fashion – bright colors are everywhere.
#4. City & Beach
Miami has everything from gorgeous tropical beaches to sky scrapers.
#5. Humid & Sunny with a Chance of Rain
The weather is gorgeous but at times you will experience some hair-do destroying humidity. Veronica of Cid Style File says to make sure you bring your anti-frizz products – you’ll need them. (And don’t forget the sunscreen.)
Depending on where you’re visiting from, prices – particularly in South Beach, might be a little shocking. If you’re the type to buy items at your destination rather than try to fit them in your luggage, you may want to reconsider this time.
#7. Party Atmosphere
Maybe it was because both times I went to Miami I was there to attend special events, but I can’t help but think a “party atmosphere” permeates Miami year round. Get some sleep before you arrive – you’re going to need it.
Okay, now I didn’t personally experience this to any extreme where I would say Miami is any more rude than some other places I’ve visited, but apparently the city does have a reputation. Readers of Travel + Leisure magazine apparently voted Miami the 2nd rudest city in the nation, but you can decide for yourself.
Miami is second in something else – celebrities. I imagine only Los Angeles has a larger movie star population, although New York might be a bit of competition. Don’t believe me? A few famous faces that make their home in Miami include Gloria Estefan, Shakira, Enrique Iglesias, and Pitbull, among others. While some celebs don’t live in Miami, many keep vacation homes there or just come to party.
Be prepared for celebrity sightings wherever you go – especially Spanish-speaking celebrities. Telemundo studios is in Miami and they’ve been known to shoot on location.
Ah, the topic you’ve been waiting for. What do you wear in Miami? I’m not a fashionista so all I can tell you is, when in doubt, use fresh, clean colors. Show some skin but be classy not trashy. Here is what some of my friends have to say.
“Fun dresses that are lightweight and make you look put together. Dresses that can transition from day to night with the change of shoes and accessories and that can be layered with a lightweight sweater or denim jacket for the air-conditioned indoors. Don’t forget sunblock and a killer pair of shades.” – UnknownMami.com
“Colorful. Tropical. Skin. Sexy shoes. Perfume. Lipstick. And a Smile.” – Carrie / TikiTikiBlog.com
“You can wear nice jeans and a sexy top too. Miami is tropical. Or just all black.” – MiCaminar.com
“Something colorful or flashy with a simple, but very clean look. People in Miami know how to dress.” – Chantilly / BiCulturalMom.com
Bonus Tip? Have fun! Miami awaits!
Okay, “picudier” may officially be the ugliest Spanglish word I’ve ever made up, but let’s get on with it.
I’ve blogged about botas picudas many times now – I blogged about my first encounter with the boots and the now well-known Behind the Seams documentary. I blogged about asking a guy at Wal-Mart if I could take a picture of his botas picudas and about seeing them on the red carpet at the Latin Billboard Awards. I even went to the trouble of creating an entire page dedicated to Mexican pointy boots. What more could I possibly show you on the topic?
Well, although I would have predicted that the fad would die down by now, it seems only to have become more popular. Once DJ Erick Rincón, the king of Tribal Guarachero music, (which is what you dance to in botas picudas), got together with Sheeqo Beat and and DJ Otto to form the group 3BallMTY, they released the Inténtalo video featuring El Bebeto and América Sierra, and things seemed to take off.
Botas picudas have even been featured on the popular English-language show, Glee.
Marc Anthony encountered pointy boots while searching for talent for his and J.Lo’s show Q’Viva The Chosen. In Marc’s words “What the f*ck is that?” – (and yet he tries a pair on!)
A photo circulating on Facebook advertises the new Nike picudas… but I don’t think they actually exist.
However, Adidas has come out with boots that you really can purchase… they aren’t pointy but I wonder what sparked the idea to create them – maybe botas picudas?
And of course Tribal has come to Zumba classes.
If you like Tribal (or Trival) music, plenty new danceable songs are popping up.
This one cracks me up. Is he like a Tribal Pitbull? He even throws a “Dale!” into the song… but then they end the song “El Mudo” style. Weird. (Also, yay! for women wearing the botas!)
La Cumbia Tribalera – El Pelon del Mikrophone Feat. Banda la Trakalosa & Violento
Now these guys definitely have a lot of time on their hands. Hilarious lyrics and check out their homemade botas picudas.
La Bota – La Chuzma
So what do you think? Have botas picudas and música tribal reached their limit, or are they here to stay? … It seems possible that twenty years from now we’ll be playing lotería with our nietos and someone will call out, “La Bota!… Una bota igual que la otra” – and we will search our bingo card only to see this:
Despite the ominous title, te juro – we had an amazing time in El Salvador and I have a lot to share with you. This will be the first of several posts about our adventures. I haven’t really written for two weeks, except for the notes I kept in a small book during our travels. I hope writing is like riding a bicycle, (“Once you learn, you never forget”) – because at the moment I’m finding it difficult to put any of my thoughts and emotions into words.
So much happened in such a short time, I’m not even sure where to start. As soon as I stepped off the plane I was overwhelmed with an urgency to absorb everything – every scent, sight, taste, sound, detail. It’s impossible, of course, but I tried. There was so much I couldn’t capture with my camera, but there were solid rather than poetic reasons for that. In some places/situations, the risk of theft and drawing attention to ourselves was too great – other times I didn’t pull out the camera because I don’t like to make others uncomfortable.
As much as I tried to blend in, it wasn’t possible. At the San Salvador airport, Comalapa, the man who checked over our passports before granting entry, asked Carlos if the boys and I were all his children. I had my hair down to cover my face and wore sunglasses. Carlos told him that I was his wife. I removed my sunglasses so he could compare it to the passport photo and he charged me for a tourist visa. (Carlos and the boys didn’t have to pay even though they’re all U.S. Citizens, too.)
Everywhere we went, people stared completely sin pena. I realized that while gringas married to Latin American men are becoming increasingly common here in the U.S., it’s still something of a novelty in El Salvador. Maybe many people know of a friend or cousin who immigrated to los Uniteds and married a gringa, but, (perhaps due to lack of legal paperwork) – they don’t travel back to El Salvador on vacation. (Or they travel back and don’t bring the wife with them.) I didn’t see a single gringa/Salvadoran couple, (or any interracial/intercultural couple for that matter), the entire time we were there.
I also realized that using a backpack and chanclas definitely wasn’t helping me blend in. While generalities don’t apply to everyone, I’ll say that most women I saw in El Salvador, (especially in the malls) – carried big, fancy-looking purses and wore high heels. Some of the women could barely walk in their shoes. I watched one woman nearly fall down the escalator with her baby because of her stripper-esque platform heels, (her friend grabbed her arm and held onto her until she regained balance.) The women also wear jeans so tight from waist to ankle that I really have no idea how they fit into them, and form fitted tops as well. In El Salvador it doesn’t matter if you’re flaca, curvy, rellenita, or gorda – Tight clothes are what you wear. It was really freeing for me to see women my size and bigger who seemed to have no shame about their panzas. Not only did they have no shame, they seemed proud, walking belly first, head held high, with plenty of confidence that they were just as sexy as their slimmer friends. When it came to fashion, there was no attempt to hide or camouflage fat like women here in the United States do.
I noticed that heavy make-up and thinner eyebrows, (what I call “chola eyebrows”) are also common. I definitely felt the need to up my game while in El Salvador. With all the women walking around looking so hot, the casual tourist look wasn’t cutting it. I started carrying a big purse instead of the backpack, plucked my eyebrows a little thinner, (not totally chola, but thinner), and began putting on more eye make-up than I thought was decent for daytime. I felt this helped me blend in a little, but I refused to trade my chanclas and regular fitted jeans for high heels and skin-tight pants.
And it wasn’t just the women who looked nice. Most of the men, (again, especially in shopping malls and usually in the 15-30 age range), loved to wear name brand shirts, stylish jeans, (sometimes as tight as the women’s), and either name brand sneakers or pointy-toed shoes. The most popular hairstyle among young men was definitely the faux-hawk.
(Note: Again, this was what I saw in the malls of San Salvador. Out in the markets, on the streets, in areas outside of San Salvador, with older and more religious people – the fashion tended to be more conservative.)
We spent a lot of time walking around Metrocentro, a huge multi-level mall with indoor and outdoor shopping, kiosks, food court, movie theater and a “pasarela” (pedestrian walkway over a busy road) – to connect you to the other half of the mall. I was told that Metrocentro is the “poor people mall.” When I asked how the “poor people” could afford to look so trendy, I was told they prefer to wear name brand shoes and survive on beans and tortillas for breakfast. I don’t know how true that is, but that’s what I was told.
In the malls there was an abundance of people trying to sell me cell phones or a weekend at a resort. For the first couple days I was very polite in my response – listening to the vendor’s pitch and then issuing a “no gracias” with a smile. This of course becomes exhausting and I realized why locals just keep walking and usually say nothing.
I admit, at first I thought Salvadorans were rude because they don’t say “excuse me” – I stuck out as a gringa for this reason alone. Walking through crowds I’d say, “Con permiso” and “Perdon” multiple times. Eventually I realized, the locals weren’t being rude, it’s just accepted that with this many people in a small area, you will get bumped and brushed, elbowed and stepped on, by strangers. It’s accepted that you can’t give everyone personal space, (Americans love their bubble of personal space but in El Salvador, be prepared for that bubble to be burst.) … No one says “excuse me” because it would be exhausting to apologize to every person you touched.
Most Salvadorans you encounter working in stores and restaurants provide excellent customer service. You’ll always be greeted warmly with a Buenos días/Buenas tardres/Buenas noches. If you say “gracias” – it will always be met with an “a la orden.” People will thank you for your patronage and wish you “Buen día” – and Carlos was often referred to as “caballero” – (gentleman.) In fact, there was one woman who was too friendly with Carlos and it made me very uncomfortable.
After a week in El Salvador, Carlos’s hair already needed a trim, so I insisted we stop somewhere to get him a haircut. We found a place in Metrocentro and went in to inquire. The cost of the haircut was $6 and apparently it included a massage that seemed, at least to this gringa, to be really inappropriate. You should have seen the way she was touching his head. I think she enjoyed it more than Carlos did. Carlos, to his credit, was very uncomfortable and told her several times that the massage wasn’t necessary. The boys and I sat watching in shock as the young woman massaged Carlos’s head for a good ten minutes. She looked at me while she was doing it, smiled slyly, and started laughing as she continued a conversation with Carlos, asking him if it felt good, etc. A friend later assured us that the massage is a normal part of the haircut and Carlos didn’t receive special treatment. I got over the jealousy after about 15 minutes but for the rest of the trip I teased Carlos saying it was only fair for me to go get my hair cut by a man.
A lot of time was spent absorbing all these cultural differences and then sorting out the resulting thoughts and emotions. Thankfully this time of adjustment didn’t cause me to shutdown the way it did last time I went to El Salvador. During our time there, I was quite often pensive, (as well as fighting a flu which locals insisted was “allergy to the climate”) – but I was always happy. It helped to know the boys, and even Carlos, were trying to make sense of everything right along with me.
Telemundo is beginning a special series aimed at plus-sized women to air during their show “Al Rojo Vivo.” The series, “Belleza en Grande” seeks to promote acceptance of all body shapes and sizes while providing helpful fashion advice.
Spanish-language television isn’t exactly known for promoting acceptance of anything but perfect bodies, (and English-language television isn’t much better), so I’m really pleased to see Telemundo taking this step in the right direction.
For more information on the series, including when to tune in, check out the press release:
MIAMI – July 8 2011– Telemundo’s “Al Rojo Vivo” will air “Belleza en Grande,” a series of special reports starting Monday, July 11 at 5pm ET/ 4C. María Celeste Arrarás, will present a sneak preview of this series during her appearance on NBC’s “Today Show” on Saturday, July 9, as part of the ongoing collaboration between the two networks.
Conducted by fashion expert Quique Usales, “Belleza en Grande” celebrates female beauty in all shapes and sizes. Changing the belief that fashion is designed only for skinny women, Maria Celeste, along with Quique, will present daily reports that will transform the way people see the plus-size woman.
Ranging from how to pick the right underwear, how to dress for the office, and how to select the basic pieces for a wardrobe, to how to choose the perfect lingerie for seduction as well as the right hairstyle to accentuate her best features, this series will not only offer beauty and fashion tips to women who are not a size zero, but will also give them the tools -and the inspiration- to have the right attitude to look beautiful, whatever their size.
Viewers will be able to see these and other special reports on http://www.Telemundo.com/alrojovivo.
What do you think?
Most people have at least heard of The Vagina Monologues, even if they haven’t seen it. The Vagina Monologues was a one-woman show which told stories about the vagina – with the intention of celebrating the vagina and empowering women.
Now we celebrate the panza with The Panza Monologues. (“Panza” is Spanish for “belly”.) Written by Virginia Grise and Irma Mayorga, performed by Ms. Grise, these stories told in Spanglish, are not only diverse and at times hilarious – they are emotionally stirring and empowering.
It’s probably amazing to see Vicki (Virginia), perform live, but I was at least lucky enough to watch her powerful performance on The Panza Monologues DVD. I loved it so much that I wanted to share one of my favorite parts with you. Vicki gave me permission to post the written scene. If you love it as much as I did, please, check her out, buy her DVD, and if you’re able, go see her live.
FROM CHA-CHA TO PANZA
(seductively) I wasn’t always big. I use to be cha-cha thin, tall and skinny like my gringo daddy. I would wear tacones – black with straps that reached across my ankles, boots that stopped short of my knees, diamonds across my feet. Tacones – upper leather, suede, alligator, snake, all leather and in different colors- brown, red, cork, biege, gold, green, black, blue even. Tacones that matched the dresses I wore, dresses that always fit my body, showed shape, whether they were long with slit on the side, in the front, in the back / separating my piernas, or short, showing my thighs. Me and my tacones.
[Vicki stands, pulls the tacones [high heeled shoes]
out of the shopping bag.
Holds them up for the audience to admire.]
And they weren’t puta shoes / girl, they were classy. Tacones made me feel taller. Somehow tacones made me feel stronger, more sure of myself. Not submissive or anti-feminist but like the virgen in a Yolanda Lopez painting, karate kicking out of her blue veil with gold stars, stepping on the head of an angel with her tacones. Pues yo tambien. I throw punches for my raza and I can do it with my tacones on too just like the old school cholas use to do.
[Vicki places one foot on the stool
and begins to put her tacones on.]
And the men, the men were scared of me when I walked into the cantina made up / hair swept, red lipstick and tacones. You see, men like fuckin but they don’t like bein fucked and when I walked in I wuz the one doin the choosin. I didn’t sit back in dark corners waitin for someone to ask me to dance. I asked you. Locked eyes and said “You will dance this polka with me,” sometimes without even sayin nuthin.
Other times I’d say, “Fuck all of ya’ll” and take the dance floor at Daddy’Os all by myself
[Music erupts into full blown conjunto.
Vicki dances across the stage, swirls, turns.
Music lowers, Vicki remains standing.]
They all watched / old school vatos, young cholos, graduate students trying to remember their hometown barrios in a bar east of the freeway, forgetting in between too many beers. Hell even the cholas were lookin. Some worried I’d take away their man. Others, shit others just wanted to dance wid me. Be free. Be free like me.
They say a bar is a man’s space but I owned that motha fucker. I walked in with my own go-go juice in blue bottle cuz my dad once told me, “Beer makes you fat Virginia,” so I drank vodka on the rocks, learned how to play pool “Call your shots. I’m not fuckin around.” And I learned more about community politics/who owns who, who runs what than I could of ever learned workin at a cultural center.
I claimed power through my pussy, and I didn’t even have to let any one in. I just had to let em all know I knew I had one and that I controlled my own cho-cho. Ya, I owned that motha / fuckin bar / ‘till the city tore it down after li’l Danny got cut.
I use to be cha-cha thin. Proud of my calves, well-defined. Calves that did not look like my mother’s calves. My mom’s calves were more like tree trunks. Her whole body was like one huge bloque. My mother gave us everything, everything but I never remember her having anything. Instead of tacones, she wore chanclas. She use to threaten us with her chancla and it didn’t matter if she were big and old, she could still bend over, take off her chancla, grab us by the arm, and meternos un chingaso, real quick like/good ol’ fashion chancla discipline. My mother use to say that my father wanted boys. We were three girls. My mother never said what it was she wanted. That was her way I guess. I’m not sure if my mom ever loved my dad but I grew up thinkin that women that fell in love were weak.
I never thought my mom was pretty, even when she was younger and I never wanted to look like her but slowly the image of my mother crept into my own body. Slowly after too many two o’clock after closin time tacos, candy bars and coke for breakfast. They startin callin me dis—short for gordis—instead of la vicki. Cha-cha became panza and not little panzita even. The whole body grew and you know, it’s not easy balancin this much woman on an ity, bitty heel. I no longer walked real straight and tall. Hell, I looked more like a weeble, wobble. All my weight on a heel as wide as my pointing finger with my foot arched in the middle. I feel the weight of my panza all the way in the ball of my foot. When your panza gets bigger so do your feet and those thin sexy straps that use to hold your feet well they aint that sexy no more. You’ve got these little lonjitas hangin off the side of your shoe and it causes your feet to swell. It’s like they’re chokin, pulsatin, gaspin for air as they struggle to balance all of you on a tacon. And to tell you the truth, I don’t really feel so strong, so sure of myself anymore. Shit I’m scared I’ll fall when I’m dancin and the people that are lookin at me now are starin because they’re scared if I go too low I might not be able to get back up. They’re worried I’ll hurt someone out there.
There’s somethin classy about cha-cha/medias and tacones but when cha-cha becomes panza and you think you can still pull the same shit you could when you were 21, you just look kinda silly. You loose your tacon super powers and your magic slippers really are just puta shoes. Your dress clings tightly to lonjas and you can’t lock eyes with anyone anymore and talk to them without speaking cuz now they only look at your huge chi-chis and well chi-chis just aren’t as powerful as cho-cho. I don’t know why. Who makes these rules?
[Seductive music rises. Lights dim.]
[During the transition, Vicki sits on the edge of the altar, takes off her tacones and replaces them in the shopping bag on the altar. Vicki remains seated.]
© 2004 Virginia Grise and Irma Mayorga
No part of this script may be reproduced, published, or performed without express written consent of the authors.
Disclosure: The Panza Monologues was provided to me for review at my request. All opinions are my own.