Category Archives: humor
Perritos en la Cancha
Today is Spanish Friday so this post is in Spanish. If you participated in Spanish Friday on your own blog, leave your link in comments. English translation in italics!
Image source: Kate Lokteva
El título lo dice todo. Este post combina dos cosas que me encantan – los perritos y el fútbol. No sé cuál es más lindo, los perros que se divierten en la cancha, o los jugadores que sonríen mientras tratan de capturarlos. Chécalo!
The title says it all. This post combines two things I love – puppies and soccer. I don’t know which is cuter, the dogs that have fun out on the field, or the players who are smiling while trying to capture them. Check it out!
Y un vídeo para los que aman a los gatos! (And one video for the cat lovers!)
El Sombrerito
Today is Spanish Friday so this post is in Spanish. If you participated in Spanish Friday on your own blog, leave your link in comments. English translation below!
“¿Qué onda, vos?” pregunté a mi hijo mayor una tarde cuándo venia a casa de la escuela.
“Mira mamá, te tengo una sorpresa,” dijo mi hijo con algo escondido detrás de su espalda.
“¿Qué es?” pregunté.
Mi hijo reveló un sombrerito negro, decorado con lentejuelas. En purpurina color verde, blanca y roja, estaba escrita la palabra “BICENTENARIO.”
“Ah, de México, es. Qué bonito,” dije, “¿Dónde lo econtraste?”
“Lo gané por tener la calificación más alta de mi clase de español,” dijo con orgullo.
“Wow, qué bien. Muy bien,” dije yo, “pero a dónde vamos a ponerlo? Tu papá no le va a gustar.”
Después de unos minutos, dicidimos ponerlo en una estantería llena de libros y chucherías.
¿Lo encuentras tú? Can you find it?
“A ver cuántos días le toma por encontrarlo,” dije sonriendome.
Bueno, más tarde entró Carlos a la casa después de un día trabajando. Me dio un beso y empezó a platicar por unos minutos cuándo él paró de hablar muy abruptamente.
“Ey,” dijo, frunciendo el ceño, “¿Qué es esto?”
En menos de quince minutos lo ha encontrado.
[ENGLISH TRANSLATION]
“What’s up?” I asked my oldest son one afternoon when he arrived home from school.
“Look, Mom, I have a surprise for you,” said my son with something hidden behind his back.
“What is it?” I asked.
My son revealed a little black sombrero decorated with sequins. In green, white and red glitter the word “Bicentennial” was written.
“Ah, it’s from Mexico. How nice,” I said, “Where did you get it?”
“I won it for having the highest score in my Spanish class,” he said proudly.
“Wow, that’s great. Very good,” I said, “but where are we going to put it? Your Dad isn’t going to like it.”
After a few minutes, we decided to put it on a bookshelf full of books and knick-knacks.
“Let’s see how many days it takes him to find it,” I said smiling.
Well, Carlos later came home after a day of working. He kissed me and we started to chat for a few minutes when he very abruptly stopped talking.
“Hey,” he said, furrowing his brow, “What is this?”
In less than fifteen minutes he had found it.
My First Spanish Freudian Slip
I began learning Spanish over twenty years ago and while I’ve made, (and continue to make), plenty of grammatical mistakes, I have never had a Freudian Slip until yesterday – This makes me wonder if Freudian Slips are actually a sign of better fluency – something that the brain isn’t capable of doing when one doesn’t speak a language well enough?
So this is what happened – Carlos and I are in the car and I pop in a Pitbull CD. We’re listening to the song “Maldito Alcohol” and, as is my habit, I begin to sing along. I’ve heard this song a hundred times and know the lyrics well, but this time I slipped up.
(A little background – I’ve been trying to eat healthier lately and as a result I’m often feeling hungry.)
Now, back to the car and me singing along. I sing:
“Vamos pa’ la, pa’ la, pa’ la pa’ la discoteca…Vamos pa’ la, pa’ la, pa’ la pa’ la discoteca,” so far so good…
…and then, the slip up: “Yo no quiero agua, yo quiero comida.”
Cascarones vs. Easter Eggs
The first year we made cascarones, I didn’t have any dye so I tried to decorate the entire egg with colored tissue paper and glue. It was messy and they didn’t turn out very pretty, so this year I decided to do it the right way and dye the eggs. I bought your typical $1 kit with colored tablets for egg-dyeing at Easter time – a package that is familiar to me from childhood. However, because these kits are meant for American-style Easter eggs, they come with additional items you don’t need for cascarones which apparently perplexed my 10 year old.
Him: What are these for? [picking up stickers and cardboard egg holders]
Me: We don’t need those. Those are for making American Easter eggs.
Him: You put stickers and these thingies on them before you break them on someone’s head?
Me: No, [laughing] You leave the egg in the shell and cook them – you know hard boiled eggs?
Him: [nods]
Me: Then you dye them, put stickers on them, and these little cardboard thingies are so you can display them until you eat them.
Him: You eat them?! That’s weird!
It kind of boggles my mind that my 10 year old couldn’t remember what regular Easter eggs are – I mean, I made them with them before? When they were little? In the past? Didn’t I?… I don’t remember anymore. Apparently, in recent years I’ve done such a good job of teaching the boys Latin American culture that I now need to step it up with showing them Anglo-American traditions from my own childhood.
My Spanglish
There have been plenty of posts such as, “Pass the Vacuum” and other Carlos-isms, which poke fun at Carlos’s English. I also still make fun of him for asking “How many years do you have?” when we first met – So I thought it was only fair for me to write a post about my Spanish mistakes. The one that still makes my cheeks burn red is in the post Most Embarrassing Spanish Speaking Moment, but here are a few words I’ve apparently invented on the path to Spanish fluency.
Quesoso – (pronounced “kay-so-so”) I’m actually proud of this one and have stubbornly used it for years. I call things “cheesy” a lot in English, like, “Oh my gosh, this novela is so cheesy!” … But how do you say “cheesy” in Spanish? I don’t know, so I took the word for “cheese” and added on the appropriate ending.
Afordable – (pronounced “ah-for-dah-blay”) I didn’t know the word for “affordable” in Spanish (“asequible” which I still forget) – so I took a stab in the dark… hey sometimes it works.
Polandia – I was watching a soccer match and Carlos asked me who was playing. I answered “Polandia contra …” (whoever was playing against Poland, I can’t remember.) … Apparently Poland is “Polonia” in Spanish… I still think mine makes more sense.
Tiene un punto – I was trying to say “He has a point” but Carlos says this idiom can’t be translated directly. Oops!
That’s all I can remember for now, but I’m sure there will be more to come.
Carlos el inventor
Today is Spanish Friday so this post is in Spanish. If you participated in Spanish Friday on your own blog, leave your link in comments. English translation below!
En las últimas semanas, los pájaros se han vuelto locos. Cómo es primavera, los pájaritos están peleando, enamorando, y buscando lugar a dónde pueden hacer el nido. Bueno, uno de los pájaros es más tonto que los otros, y sigue tratando de entrar a la ventilación del horno que está en el exterior de la casa. Cada mañana escucho unos sonidos de rascando y de alas furiosas del pájaro tratando de entrar. Cada mañana salgo de la casa gritando, “Nooo! Vete! Vete ya, pájaro bobo!”
Un día tuve la idea ingeniosa de dibujar un búho, y coloque el dibujo con cinta adhesiva cerca de la ventilación. A la mañana siguiente, el pájaro estaba haciendo la misma cosa – no tuvo miedo de mi dibujo. Tal vez no es tan bobo como pensé. Mi siguiente idea fue colgar cerca un carillón, pero eso tampoco funcionó.
Carlos me había visto luchar con este problema y me preguntó si quería ayuda. A veces puedo ser terca y quiero hacer las cosas solita, pero esta vez acepté. Carlos se quedó mirando la ventilación, pensó por un momento y luego entró a la casa. Segundos más tarde regresó con la bolsa de los limones que es una malla de plástico. Sin herramientas, con no más que sus manos, sujetó la malla cubriendo la ventilación.
Gracias al ingenio de los salvadoreños, no he oído el pájaro desde entonces.
[ENGLISH TRANSLATION]
Carlos the inventor
In recent weeks the birds have gone crazy. Since it’s spring, the birds are fighting, falling in love, and looking for a place where they can build their nest. Well, one of the birds is a little stupider than the others, and it keeps trying to enter the oven vent on the outside of the house. Each morning I hear the sound of scratching and the beating of furious wings as the bird tries to come in. Every morning I run out of the house screaming, “Nooo! Go away Go away, stupid bird!”
One day I had the idea to draw an owl and tape the drawing near the vent. The next morning, the bird was doing the same thing – not at all afraid of my drawing. Maybe it’s not as dumb as I thought. My next idea was to hang a wind chime nearby, but that didn’t work either.
Carlos watched me struggle with this problem and asked if I wanted help. Sometimes I can be stubborn and prefer to do things by myself, but this time I agreed. Carlos stared at the ventilation, thought for a moment, and then went into the house. Seconds later Carlos returned with the bag from the lemons which is a plastic net. Without tools, with nothing more than his hands, he attached the plastic net around the vent.
Thanks to the ingenuity of Salvadorans, I have not heard the bird since.
Botas Picudas … now 30% picudier!
El Trono wearing white botas picudas on the red carpet at the Latin Billboard Awards
Okay, “picudier” may officially be the ugliest Spanglish word I’ve ever made up, but let’s get on with it.
I’ve blogged about botas picudas many times now – I blogged about my first encounter with the boots and the now well-known Behind the Seams documentary. I blogged about asking a guy at Wal-Mart if I could take a picture of his botas picudas and about seeing them on the red carpet at the Latin Billboard Awards. I even went to the trouble of creating an entire page dedicated to Mexican pointy boots. What more could I possibly show you on the topic?
Well, although I would have predicted that the fad would die down by now, it seems only to have become more popular. Once DJ Erick Rincón, the king of Tribal Guarachero music, (which is what you dance to in botas picudas), got together with Sheeqo Beat and and DJ Otto to form the group 3BallMTY, they released the Inténtalo video featuring El Bebeto and América Sierra, and things seemed to take off.
Botas picudas have even been featured on the popular English-language show, Glee.
Click this screenshot to watch "The Spanish Teacher" episode of Glee on Hulu, featuring Ricky Martin and botas picudas.
Marc Anthony encountered pointy boots while searching for talent for his and J.Lo’s show Q’Viva The Chosen. In Marc’s words “What the f*ck is that?” – (and yet he tries a pair on!)
A photo circulating on Facebook advertises the new Nike picudas… but I don’t think they actually exist.
However, Adidas has come out with boots that you really can purchase… they aren’t pointy but I wonder what sparked the idea to create them – maybe botas picudas?
Click the photo to read more about Adidas cowboy boots.
And of course Tribal has come to Zumba classes.
If you like Tribal (or Trival) music, plenty new danceable songs are popping up.
This one cracks me up. Is he like a Tribal Pitbull? He even throws a “Dale!” into the song… but then they end the song “El Mudo” style. Weird. (Also, yay! for women wearing the botas!)
La Cumbia Tribalera – El Pelon del Mikrophone Feat. Banda la Trakalosa & Violento
Now these guys definitely have a lot of time on their hands. Hilarious lyrics and check out their homemade botas picudas.
La Bota – La Chuzma
So what do you think? Have botas picudas and música tribal reached their limit, or are they here to stay? … It seems possible that twenty years from now we’ll be playing lotería with our nietos and someone will call out, “La Bota!… Una bota igual que la otra” – and we will search our bingo card only to see this:
Wii Fútbol
Today is Spanish Friday so this post is in Spanish. If you participated in Spanish Friday on your own blog, leave your link in comments. English translation below!
Ultimamente Carlos y los niños han jugado un juego de FIFA fútbol en Wii. A mi me encanta mucho el fútbol pero no entiendo cómo uno puede pensar que este juego de video es divertido. Agitando un control remote de el Wii no tiene nada que ver con pateando una pelota de fútbol, pero Carlos y los niños sigan gritando “gooooool!” como están ganando la Copa Mundial.
Chécalo!
ENGLISH TRANSLATION
Lately Carlos and the boys have been playing a FIFA soccer game on the Wii. I love soccer very much but I don’t understand how one can think that this video game is fun. Shaking a Wii remote control has nothing to do with kicking a soccer ball, but Carlos and the boys continue shouting “goooooal!” as if they’re winning the World Cup.
Check it out!
Nyan Cat aka Pop Tart Cat
My 10 year old recently discovered “Nyan Cat” – also known as, “Pop Tart Cat.”
Nyan Cat aka Pop Tart Cat, created by illustrator Chris Torres
He likes cats and weirdness, so he became a little obsessed. Soon he was playing Nyan Cat games and watching Nyan Cat videos.
The other day, while seeking more Nyan Cat thrills, he came upon the Mexican Nyan Cat.
“Do you like it, Mommy?” he asked.
“Yeah, it’s cute,” I said.
“Do you want a Salvadoran Nyan Cat? I’ll find you one!”
I explained to him that because Mexicans are the dominant Latino population in the United States, a Salvadoran Nyan Cat wouldn’t exist, but I appreciated his thoughtfulness. Minutes later he called me back to the computer.
“Mommy!”
“Yeah?”
“If I found a Salvadoran Nyan Cat would you want to blog it?”
“Sure, but honey, I already told you——”
El Guiño (The Wink)
Today is Spanish Friday so this post is in Spanish. If you participated in Spanish Friday on your own blog, leave your link in comments. English translation below!
En su trabajo, Carlos se ha hecho muy amigo con uno de sus compañeros mexicanos que se llama Benjamín. Juntos, ellos le gustan hacer burlas a otro compañero quién es gringo. Carlos y Benjamín comenzaron con un chiste de guiñar uno al otro porque se hace incomodo para el gringo.
Bueno, a pesar de que Benjamín es su amigo, le gusta engañar a Carlos también. El otro día, con su teléfono celular oculto, Benjamin hizo un guiño a Carlos y luego grabó en video Carlos guiñando en repuesta para poder chantajearlo.
Por suerte, Carlos no siente nada de vergüenza y no le importa si Benjamín muestra el video a sus hermanos y primos que trabajan con ellos. Carlos hasta dijo que puedo compartir el video aquí. Supongo que Benjamin tendrá que intentarlo de nuevo para capturar a Carlos haciendo algo más vergonzoso.
ENGLISH TRANSLATION
At work, Carlos has become good friends with one of his Mexican co-workers named Benjamín. Together, they like to play jokes on a gringo co-worker. Carlos and Benjamín started a joke where they wink at each other because it makes the gringo uncomfortable.
Well, even though Benjamín is his friend, he likes to trick Carlos as well. The other day, with his cellphone hidden from sight, Benjamín winked at Carlos and then video taped Carlos winking back, with plans to use the video as blackmail.
Luckily Carlos didn’t feel at all ashamed about the video and he didn’t care if Benjamín showed it to his brothers and cousins who also work there. Carlos even said I could share the video here. I guess Benjamín will have to try again to catch Carlos doing something more embarrassing.
Other posts about Carlos’s co-workers:
Banana Envy
El Lechero (The Milkman)
Mexicans vs. Salvadorans
Lunch Envy
