Here we go – my family’s most recent “bilingual moments” and funny conversations. (Be sure to share your recent funny conversations in comments!)

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Oldest son: Your gift should arrive tomorrow because I have Amazon Prime.
Tracy: A gift for what? It’s a little early for Christmas.
Son: It’s not a Christmas gift.
Tracy: You should count it for Christmas. Don’t get me anything else.
Son: No! I’ll get you a Christmas gift, too. Just enjoy it!
Tracy: You shouldn’t waste your money. Why buy me a random gift?
Son: Because I’m the son of an immigrant! Just let me do my thing!

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(Text conversation)

Tracy: Qué pasa?
Carlos: Just some advice, when you say qué pasa like that you seem mad.
Tracy: Fine. Qué pasa MI AMOR.

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Tracy: He needs prayers.
Carlos: Light a candle.
Tracy: I already did.
Carlos: To who?
Tracy: What?
Carlos: To San Antonio or la Virgencita? [Both are on the family altar]
Tracy: I have to pick? Can’t they work together?

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(At the grocery store)

Carlos: What is this?
Tracy: Pumpkin spice cereal.
Carlos: And this?
Tracy: Pumpkin spice donuts.
Carlos: [holds up product from the cart]
Tracy: Pumpkin spice cookies.
Carlos: [shakes his head, disappointed] You’re out of control.

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Carlos: Where is my lapicero?
Tracy: Your what?
Carlos: Lapicero
Tracy: La pizero? What the heck is that?
Carlos: No, lapicero… My… Pin.
Tracy: What pin? What in the world are you talking about?
Carlos: Found it! *Holds up a pen*
Tracy: That’s a PEN.
Carlos: That’s what I said.

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Carlos: What’s the name of the hair salon?
Tracy: Utopia.
Carlos: Why they call it that? Is that where the owner’s from?
Tracy: What? (laughing) How can they be from Utopia? It doesn’t exist.
Carlos: Yes, it does. In Africa.
Tracy: That’s Ethiopia!

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(In the car, on our way to dropping youngest son at violin practice)

Carlos: (Speaking Spanish quietly) Después que lo dejamos, qué quieres comer?
Tracy: (Speaking Spanish quietly) Um, Cinco Tipos?
Carlos: What?
Tracy: (Making eye contact) Cinco Tipos… you know?
Youngest son: (Not even looking up from texting in the backseat) You can just say it in English. I know you’re going to Five Guys without me.

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